Serotonin

27.

Luke was the one who woke me up in the morning.

"Wake up, you're dad is being moved this morning."

"Already?" I asked as rubbed my eyes.

It all happend do fast. Not even a day ago he was making pancakes with a smile on his face.

"When are we leaving?"

I wanted to see my dad before he would leave me again. I wanted him to tell me that we would be fine.

"We'll take you to the hospital right now but you have listen to your father wishes. Their is a possibility that he doesn't want to talk to you right now." Luke said to me.

I looked down with a sad face and nodded. If i where my dad i wouldn't want to see anybody so i couldn't blame him if he would say no.

"You can wear that." Luke pointed to a hooidie and sweatpants he had put on the bed.

"There probably a little big but i thought that they would be better than your bloody clothes."

I had totally forgotten about the blood that was on my shirt. I immediately felt gross and uncomfortable.

"You can shower if you want to. We'll leave in an hour."

"Thank you." I said to him before he left the room.

Without any hesitation i trew my clothes off. I didn't how i was able to sleep in them.

Luke

"How is she?" Ashton aksed me when i came downstairs.

I sighed and sat down next to him on the couch. "Better than i thought she would be and thats scares me. It's like she can explode at any moment."

"Did you stay with her during the night?" Michael asked as he joined our conversation.

I  nodded. "She had a nightmare so stayed with her after that."

"Did you talk to her about it?" Ashton aked.

"Not yet, i wanted to her to sleep first. "

"I think we should get her to a therapist soon. That way she can process everything that has happend." Michael said.

I looked over to Ashton. "Do you think you can do that?"

"Only if Olivia is comfortable with it."

Our conversation got interrupted by Olivia.

"I'm ready. " She said as she came down in my baggy clothes.

I looked at my watch, she was faster than i had anticipated.

"Well let's go then."

Olivia and i left the house before the others because their shifts started later. I had taken the day off to get Olivia settled in.

Olivia didn't say much during the carride, she looked outside with her head against the glass.

I wanted to talk to her to make sure that she got everything out before seeing her dad but i didn't know how to ask her.

"Are you nervous to see your dad again?" I aksed unsure of that was the right thing to say.

"Of course i am. I'm afraid that he doesn't want to see me."

"Well let's go find out." I said.

I wanted to punch myself jn the face, i had no idea how to say the right thing to her at the moment. Ashton always has been better with those things.

She nodded.

We both got out of the car and walked into the hospital. I held her hand as i guided her to her dad's room.

"Wait here, I'll talk to your dad first."

I walked into his room and was greeted by Calum and her dad.

"Olivia would like to see you before you leave." I said to her dad.

He nodded. "That's alright."

"I'll go get her." Calums said.

"I just cleared him, he'll be picked in  30 minutes. Be careful with him he's still very unstable." He said to me before he left the room.

Olivia walked hesitantly into the room.

Her dad opened his arms and without saying anything Olivia went to hug him.

"I'm so happy to see you." Olivia whispered.

I quietly left the room so that they could some privacy for a second.

As Calum said after 30 minutes the people of the psych ward arrived.

"We're here to pick mr. Darkwood up." One of the man spoke to me.

I nodded. "He's in here."

Olivia wasn't crying and  neither was her dad. The both of them where talking camly to each other when we walked in.

"It's time." I said in a sad tone to Olivia.

She hugged her dad one last time and then stood up.

She smiled and waved at her father as he was guided outside.

"How come you're smiling?" I asked once her dad was out if sight.

"Sometimes all we can do is stay happy for the people that can't be happy anymore."

I put my arm around her when she said that. "I couldn't have said it better."

"Do you want to drop by your house before we go back?" I asked her once we where in the car.

She nodded.

Olivia

The closer we got to my house the more nervous i got. I had left my dad's suicide note there together with that horrible night.

"You okay?" Luke asked when he noticed that i was bouncing my leg.

I shook my head. "I'm scared to go back. The last thing i experienced there wasn't actually pleasant."

Luke nodded understandably. "It's good that we're going back today. That way you can experience your house in a new light again. It's not the place that's making you scared it's the memory you had in it."

"Mabye." I mumbled back.

I still had the key to our house so i was able to open to door without any struggles.

His note was still on the kitchen table.

I grabbed it with shaking hands and put it in my pocket. I wasn't up to read it right now, i wanted to read in private like my dad had intended to.

"What was that?" Luke asked pointing to my jacket.

"Nothing important."

I didn't want him to know that my dad had left a note. He probably didn't want me to read it but i needed to read it no matter how painful it would be.

"I want to see my dad's room." I said to him as i walked towards the stairs.

Luke grabbed my arm. "Are you sure that's a good idea right now?

"No." I said as pulled my arm away.

I froze when i entered my dad's room.

"Nobody stopped by to clean it." I whispered.

"I'll clean it, go pack your bag in your room." Luke said to me as he walked passed me into the room.

"No." I breathed out.

Luke turned confused around. "Olivia, i don't want you to see this again." He said softly.

"I need to clean it, otherwise it will always be there in my memory."

"Alright then. Let's find something that will get rid of these stains."