Serotonin

36.

Luke

I took a deep breath and entered her room by myself.

She was staring blankly infront of her when i walked in. She didn't even seem scared or sad, just numb.

Her hair was still wet from the shower and she was wearing an hospital gown. I had offered her my clothes but she had refused.

"Hey, how are you doing?" i asked already knowing her answer.

She shook her head.

"Can i do anything to change that right now."

She tried to speak but her voice gave up.

"I can't." She said with hands on her bruised neck.

"It's okay, you don't need to say anything. I just wanted to check on you."

"Sleep." She said as she pretended to yawn.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best. I assume that you're very tired."

She nodded and looked at me like she was waiting on something.

"Do you want me to leave the room?" I asked a bit confused of what she was waiting for.

She nodded.

Hesitantly i walked to the door. I wanted to stay with her to keep her safe but i needed to respect her answer.

"Goodnight Olivia, i love you." I said to her before i closed the door behind me.

I needed to talk to someone right now so i went to Ashton's office.

I sat down in Ashton office with my hands in my hair.

"I don't know what to do." I said with tears in my eyes to him.

He sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

"She's so different and i just don't know what to do. She doesn't even want me in the same room as her." I said to him.

"Can you blame her? She's just been through a traumatic experience involving a men." He said to me.

I whiped my tears away and looked him in in the eyes. "I just want to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be fine."

"I know you do but we'll have to respect her boundaries no matter how painful it is."

Olivia

I was back in his house again. In that same room.

I immediately ran towards the door and tried to open it but it was locked.

Panicked i kicked the door but it wouldn't butch.

I turned around and noticed that a camera was recording. I kicked it, causing it to fall and break.

Then i heard the door open. A tall figure walked into the room and went to stand in the corner.

"Dad, is that you?" I asked hesitantly when i walked to the figure.

At first it looked like my dad but the closer i got quicker that idea left my brain.

I tapped the figure on it's schoulder but it gave no reaction.

My heart was beating so fast, i really thought i was going to pass out.

I turned the light on to see who the dark figure was but the light didn't help.

It was like it wasn't a person but a shadow.

When i went to tap it's shoulder again he suddenly turned around and pushed me on the bed.

It fell on top of me, crushing me with It's weight.

"I won't hurt you darling." The figure whispered.

I was gasping for air.

Mutiple voices whispered, they all repeated the same sentence.

"I won't hurt you, you can trust me."

I screamed as I tried to push the figure off me.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoudler. I screamed even louder until i realized that I was no longer asleep.

Michael was standing next to my bed with scared eyes.

His sudden presence made me panic.

My chest was getting tighter as i tried to move as far back as possible.

As that was happening Michael stepped closer to me and gently touched my shoulder.

I rolled away from him causing me to land on the floor.

He immediately tried to pick me up so that i wouldn't rip my IV out.

I flinched away and moved further towards the wall.

"No." Was all that i was able to produce.

Michael quickly backed away.

"Why won't it stop? I want him to leave me alone." I cried out as i tucked my knees to my chest.

I wanted everything to stop. I wanted a fucking break for this shitshow that was so called my life.

"Olivia i need you to calm down."

I covered my ears with my hands, i wanted to hear nothing but absolute silence.

"I'm not going to hurt you, i promise." Michael said softly.

I never thought that hearing those words would make me more anxious then ever.

I shook my head with eyes still closed. I couldn't help but see him especially after Michael said those things.

"Stop. I want you to stop." I said as i shook my head.

After a while everything calmed down. The echoes in my head where gone and so where the images that appeared infront of me.

I opened my eyed and looked Michael in the eyes. He looked scared.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him.

I hated the fact that i was bringing other down with my behaviour but i wasn't in control anymore.

"Don't ever be sorry for what you can't control." He spoke in a reassuring voice.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

I nodded as new tears formed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to sleep." I said barely audible.

He nodded. "I understand. Let's get you back in bed."

I looked helpless at him when he said that. I knew that I wasn't going to get up by myself.

"It is okay if i help you up?" Michael asked as he slowly moved towards me.

I hesitantly nodded. I'd rather not have anyone touch me right now but i needed the help.

Michael genlty grabbed both of me hands and pulled me up.

He understood that my hands and shoulders where the only places i could be touched right now without freaking out.

I yawned when was back in bed. I was so goddamm tired that i didn't even care about the nightmares anymore.

"Do you want me to stay here?"

I shook my head. I would feel safer if i knew that i went to bed without anyone close by.

Michael thought about what to say for a second. He probably didn't expect my answer.

"Okay then. Goodnight, Olivia." He said with a smile before he left the room.

I stared at the ceiling while tears fell down my face. I couldn't escape him, no matter how hard i tried. His weight was always there, crushing me.