What Am I To You?

Four.

It's already been one month since Shawn left for tour. It has been horrible here at home. Jake keeps hitting me when my mom isn't home, and she isn't often as she's working. I haven't texted Shawn much as I don't feel talking to him because I might end up telling him what's going one and I can't do that. Aaliyah on the other hand texts me all the time as she wants hang with me. When I go out when my mom is at work I hang with Aaliyah or Matt then when I go home Jake is always there ready to "hit" me again. I have got lots of bruises now so I wear hoodies quite often. Thankfully I borrowed a few from Shawn as they smell of him. He hasn't really texted me either, well he does write me good morning when I wake up and I text him goodnight but else not much. He's busy with touring and I don't wanna tell him all this.
Right now I'm in Toronto with Matt, Ian and Brian as we're going to this theme park. My mom has a 17 hour shift so she's not home almost all day which means I can go with them. They hear from Shawn all the time though. He might have met someone else in Europe which scares me because I really miss him. His hugs, the way looks at me when we have small talks, his smile. Oh that smile will be the death of me. While thinking about Shawn Matt interrupts it. "Ay Kels you there?" He says waving his hand In front of my face. "Oh yes yes, sorry!" I say. "You miss him don't you?" He says. "If I have to be honest yes. I miss him so so much! It's not the same without him here." I say close to tear up. "Aww sweetie, he'll be back before you know it!" He says comforting me. Me and Matt has this sibling relationship. We're there for each other when we need it, and I talk most with him about Shawn too. He knows how much Shawn means to me, the others doesn't know everything. After a few hours of trying different carousels we go to the dinner there's here. We order and just small talks. I like to hang out with them all at once, it's a great feeling to have all your friends around you at once when you all get along. You might think that I only hang around boys but I dont. I have tried to get girlfriends but I haven't found any real one yet. The only one I have is Aaliyah at the moment. I do get more along with boys sometimes, it's strange but yeah. The day goes on and we have lots of fun. I had to head home now as I'm trying to avoid Jake being there. Hopefully he won't be there. Ian pulls up right outside our condo. "Thanks for the ride Ian! And thanks for a good day guys!" I before I walk out of the car. "No problem at all sweetie! We always have fun when we're with you." Ian says. I thank them once again and walks out. I wave at them when they drive off and walks inside. When I get in Jakes there. Im just gonna skip this as i hate explaining when the hitting happens.
Days went on like this as always and tomorrow Shawn gets back for two weeks. He's arriving in the morning. I'm planning on going there early so I'll be there as surprise when he arrives. The only problem is how I'm getting out that early. Maybe if I stayed over somewhere I could? I decide on texting Aaliyah about it. "Hey Liyah can I stay over tonight? I wanna go surprise Shawn at the airport tomorrow morning but if I stay home I won't be able to get out :/" hopefully she will respond soon. It's Saturday today btw that's why we're not at school. Next few hours went by and the time is now 4:30pm. I watched a movie as I didn't know what else to do. Then a message comes in. "Hey Kels, sure thing! Just come whenever you can x" the text says. Hell yeah im gonna thank her so big when I get there. I go grab a bag with some clothes, toilet stuff, charger and purse then I head out. No one is home right now so I'm gonna sneak out. I made it out on the street thank god. I start walking to the Mendes house. Not long after I arrive. When I ring the bell Aaliyah's there to open the door. "Hey Kels! Come in." She says dragging me inside and upstairs to her room. She tells me that her parents isn't home until later. When the time turns 8pm her parents arrives at home. They quick comes to say hey to us and tells dinner would be ready in half an hour. Aaliyah must have told them I was coming over as they didn't look surprised I was there else they're just used to I'm here all the time.
30 minutes later they call us down for dinner. The food is delicious, but it mostly always is here. They cook amazing omg. "So Kelsey Shawn's coming home tomorrow you excited?" Karen asks. "Yes! I literally can't wait, I've missed him so much." I say all honest. I'm always honest with them, not like with my own family. "Aw I'm sure he missed you a lot too! You guys get along so well." She says. "Yeah hopefully he will like I surprise him at the airport tomorrow morning." I say. "Ooh yes! He will definitely love that I'm sure!" She says. "I really hope he does, we haven't really talked much when he has been away." I say looking down. "Awhh why not?" She asks. "He's been busy I guess?" I say. "Oh no sweetie I'm sorry, I'm sure he missed you though!" She says comforting me. We continue to eat. After dinner me and Aaliyah heads to her room to watch a movie together. Under the movie I get a text from Shawn. I tell Aaliyah I have to go to the bathroom and she just nods continuing to watch the movie. I open his text.
"Hey Kels! As you know I'm coming home tomorrow. The thing is I have to work on the new album while I'm free so idk how much time we can spend together. I'm sorry." He met someone in Europe for sure. He promised me that we could spend time together as he's only here for 2 weeks! He's been making excuses a lot lately. What's happening with him ugh. Should I go to the airport or not? I go back into Aaliyah's room to watch rest of the movie. When the movie finishes we head to bed. She has a queen size bed so we just share the bed. It's always so cozy when we have a sleepover together.