Whispers : BTS

Girlfriend

The beginning when he left was the hardest time for me. He was still in the back of my mind all the time, and it was hard for myself to keep him on the back burner when he was away.

A few days after his birthday, he texted me. He asked if I had a car.

I was at work and made a confused face on why this peice of information was important. And yes I had a car - he should know this. Was he serious? I responded yes and he promptly responded asking if the windows were tinted.

I figured he needed to borrow my car. Maybe he needed to shuttle his boys around, go grocery shopping- who knew. Whatever he needed he knew he could get from me.

I responded that sadly they were not.

He then called my phone. It wasn't loud, simply vibrated ... but I personally panicked. I looked around and thankfully no one was even looking so I stood up and dashed to the nearby restroom to take my call.

"Hello." I answered non chanlontly checking to see which stalls were occupied. Only one was. Better than all 5.

"Are you at work?" He asked with humor in his voice.

"Yes I am at work, what do you want!" I whispered angrily at him. I kept repeating to myself DO NOT say his name.

"I want to tint your windows." He stated, and I pulled the phone back to check and make sure he was actually calling me. This had to be a joke.

"Why?" I asked not understanding.

"So you can call off work and come fuck me."

The woman exited her stall and I stood staring at her like a deer in headlights with the phone to my ear.

"No, I can not do that." My brain caught up and I turned away from her. "I will call you later."

"I will come over tonight." He said quickly.

"No you won't." I responded laughing and hung up seconds before he did, shaking my head. This guy was crazy. He was not tinting my windows and I was not calling in to my job to become his sex toy. It started out as just sex - and thought i was denying every ounce of feelings towards him - bottom line was I knew I would do it. I would do it for him, because I liked him. I would do it because he sounded excited and I loved seeing him smile. I would do it because in that weird way it made me feel special. I would regret not doing it. It was now to the point I couldn't imagine not doing it.

I was going crazy. Perhaps I was in love. I walked back to my desk with a sorrowful heart. I didn't want to like him. Why did it have to be me? Did this mean I would see him more now?

Holy shit, was I his girlfriend now?

Daydreams in - a coworker interrupted my thoughts. My literal dreams.

"Tomorrow is the birthday - you are bringing cake right?" He asked and all i could think about was the peice of cake I left behind at his house. I got the chocolate fudge balls though.

"Yeah." I agreed as if I already had everything bought. I did not. Thankfully they reminded me or that probably would have looked bad showing up without cake on the birthday. "Carrot right?" I made a disgusted face with a wink and my coworker smiled as if I did remember.

Because I did. Sort of.

The rest of the day was a blur. I mentally prepared a list of what I needed to do once I got home. Hopefully he was not already there.

I needed to clean, shower, clean some more. Dust... all those things you DON'T do for the one you love. I wanted it to be perfect for him. Everytime.