YOU PROMISED ME FOREVER -- Sequel to "DIFFERENT"

19 -- UNTIL THE STARS GO OUT

Laurent paced back and forth in Dr. Matthews office.  

"Laurent, it's OK.  It can't be that bad, surely ?"

"Ohhh, it can."  He knew the doc wouldn't talk to him until Larry was here.  And Larry was late.  Larry was always late.  Would he even show up, considering how hurt and angry he was last night ?  No, he would.  He wouldn't renege on something that he considered this important.  And now, it seemed, it was more important than ever.  For both of them. 

The phone on the desk buzzed to life.

"Dr Matthews, Larry Read-Bourgeois is here"  his clerks sing-songy voice chirped.

"Can you ask him to wait just a second, and send him in when I buzz you ?  Thank you".  Laurent's face and body language changed completely.  He was anxious, almost ..... scared.  Philip would soon find out why.

"Laurent, I know something must have happened between you two, but we'll get to that in a second.  Are you sure you want to do this ?  We can cancel today if you want, arrange this for another ...."

"No.  Something did happen, you're right, but no.  We do this now.  Please."  He furrowed his brow as he said it, still not sure what greeting he would get from Larry, what he would do, what would be said.  But whatever it was, it needed to fill the air between them, to settle in their hearts, and in their conjoined psyche.  They both needed to deal with this.  

"OK, then.  You ready ?"  Laurent nodded, unsmiling, worried.  

"Can you please show Larry in, Caroline ?  Thank you."  Laurent sat down for literally two seconds, then stood again suddenly, as the door opened.  He took a huge steadying breath, not knowing what to expect.  Would Larry still be hurt, angry, upset, calm, TOO calm, or just resigned about their whole situation.  

As a huge fro preempted the tall, lean frame that followed it, Laurent took another deep breath.  Phillip noticed Laurent's anxiety, his fear.  Fear of what, though ?  Even through most of his therapy, he hadn't been this scared.  He was interested to find out what was causing this turn around in Laurent's demeanor.  

Phillip greeted Larry with a warm handshake, introducing himself.  Larry smiled faintly, and Phillip could tell he was upset too.  What the hell had happened ?  He had seen their vlogs, their constant declaration of love for the other, how obvious Laurent's love for Larry was during their sessions.  Larry turned his attention to Laurent then, their eyes locking for just a second, both searching in that second for some kind of acceptance, forgiveness, for the love they both longed for, that they both hoped to GOD, that was still there.  

"Did Caroline offer you a drink, Larry ?"  he nodded, yes, she did, thank you.  "Laurent ?"

"Water, please."  he gulped as if to accentuate the lump that was stuck in his throat.  Larry had taken a seat at right angles from Laurent, rather than one of the two empty seats on either side of him.  It made Laurent feel ridiculously alone in that moment, and Larry's choice made itself plainly known on Laurent's face, and his heart sank.  He ran his fingers over the nakedness of his ring finger, the symbolism of which couldn't be any more poignant than in this moment.  Without looking up, and just as the doc was about to speak, Laurent beat him to it.

"Did you sleep with Leon ?  Or was that just the hurt and anger talking ?  Because you saw me with Caleb, you wanted to get back at me .... "

"Wait,..... wait, wait"  Phillip urged.  This needed to be addressed in the correct way, and not with a raging, heated, emotional argument right off the bat.  But to no avail, apparently.