"Very well," Thorin says. "We will do it your way."
"No, no," Bilbo stutters.
"Give him the contract. We're in," Thorin says, disregarding the small hobbit.
"We're off!" Bofur adds, a slight smile on his face.
"It's just the usual," Balin says, pulling the contract out of his robes. "Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."
Everyone begins to stand up as he says this, and Thorin takes the contract from Balin's hands and gives it to Bilbo over his shoulder.
"Funeral arrangements!?" Bilbo asks, his eyes wide. He sighs and walks into the main hall, letting the paper unravel into a long list. He begins mumbling the words out loud, and I can barely hear them. While he does this, Thorin leans over to Gandalf.
"I cannot guarantee his safety."
"Understood," the wizard replies.
"Nor will I be responsible for his fate."
"Agreed."
I look back to Bilbo, who's muttering a bit louder now.
"Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but no exceeding one-fifteenth of total profit, if any," he says. "Hmm, seems fair. Present company shall not be liable for any injuries by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to, lacerations, eviscerations, incinerations?"
At the last word, Bilbo turns to us with a look on his face that I can't distinguish.
"Aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye," Bofur says, and I wish I was sitting close enough to elbow him.
"This is not helping our cause," I mutter.
"No kidding," Kili mutters back.
The hobbit whimpers slightly, and we all lean forward in concern.
"You all right, laddie?" Balin asks.
"Huh? Yeah," Bilbo replies, bending down with his hands on his legs. "Feel a bit faint."
"Think furnace, with wings!" Bofur says, standing up.
"Air. I need air," Bilbo gasps.
"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!" Bofur says.
"Hmm," Bilbo mumbles, standing up straight. For a moment, I think he's going to be alright.
"Nope," he says, passing out.
"Good job, Bofur," I say, standing up to help him.
Have we convinced this hobbit to go on an adventure with us?
YOU ARE READING
I'm Staying With You (A Hobbit Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"Amrâlimê." The Lonely Mountain sits silently as the sun sets behind it, creating a canvas of brilliant reds and oranges. Nobody has dared go near that mountain for sixty years for one reason alone. Smaug the Terrible, a mighty dragon with a deep...
