Dear Diggory

chapter 14

It was Monday, which meant I had a free period in the morning. This afternoon it was potions but I had my lunch open; it was the week in between Draco's tutoring. I planned to use my morning to sit with Carlisle and check how he was doing after yesterday.

I rolled out of bed and began getting ready for the day. I took my time showering and by the time I finished I smelled strongly of strawberries.

I started putting on my uniform and debated wearing tights. It had begun to get slightly colder as autumn really set in. I pulled them on with a struggle.

The girls had already left for breakfast and I'd told them I would catch up. It was becoming a frequent routine, my lack of ability to get out of my warm bed on the colder mornings and them giving up on convincing me.

I brushed through my hair with a comb and walked over to my bedside table to get my mother's ribbon. But when I got there, it was gone.

I frowned to myself. I knew I had it on Saturday because I'd used it to tie my hair up whilst we went swimming in the lake.

I tried not to panic and began searching through the room for it. I checked under all the beds and covers, but nothing turned up. I double checked everyone's trunks too, but again found nothing.

10 minutes later I had searched through the entire room. All the drawers had been pulled out, but still the ribbon was nowhere. It definitely wasn't in our room and I tried to think about where it could be.

After some deliberation, I concluded I should check the common room, lost things usually ended up there after we left them behind in the evenings.

I chanted drawer bene servetur auferetur and the drawers floated back into their slots. I ran down the staircase until I reached the common room. It was empty and I searched high and low for the ribbon, making sure it hadn't got caught between the sofa cushions or shoved into the cabinet drawer, but there was still no sign.

I began to panic then. If I had lost the ribbon it meant that I had lost a part of my mother. My dad would be devastated if I returned in summer without it, he had trusted me to keep it safe. It meant just as much to him as it did to me.

I suddenly remembered that I had it when we arrived back at the castle. My hair had still been tied up then. We'd spent the afternoon in the great hall and hope struck me at the possibility it could be there. A final solution to my dilemma.

I ran out of the tower as fast as my legs could carry me, nearly tripping down the stairs as I went.

Once I arrived, the hall was bustling with tired students and I realised it was impossible to search physically. I pulled out my wand instead and chanted uitta revelare quietly, waiting for a moment in anticipation. But the ribbon did not appear in my hand and I realised the horrible truth.

It was gone and it was all my fault.

I had lost the one possession of my mother's that was most cherished to me, the only thing that made me feel like she was still around. My heart began to ache as I realised I would never properly forgive myself for this, it would always be a regret on my part. A mark of foolishness that I hadn't been focused enough to look after the damn thing.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried not to cry. I walked over to where the girls were sitting and Evelyn stood up as she saw the look on my face.

"Lila what's wrong? What happened?" She gripped my shoulders, panicked at my lack of energy.

"My mother's ribbon... it's gone..." I wiped a tear away before it could fall down my cheek, not wanting to cry in front of everyone. "I looked everywhere it could be."

She frowned, knowing she out of everyone would understand how upset I was. She knew how much the ribbon meant to me, even if she didn't know the full story of why.

"Are you sure? We'll help you look again. Maybe you just missed it?" She glanced around the table at the others who nodded in agreement.

I shook my head forcefully and stepped away from her grip. There was no point in searching for it anymore. If it had been around, the spell would have brought it to me. I could only wonder at where it was now.

"No don't worry, it's definitely gone. I think I'm just going to go back to the dorm. I want to be alone. Can you tell Snape that I'm ill and I won't be in class?" My tone was flat as I tried to reassure her, clearly a failed attempt by the concern on her face.

She didn't push me though, just nodded in return and I turned around, walking out of the hall. I suddenly felt so exhausted, as if all the life had bled out of me.

I was climbing the first set of stairs two at a time when I saw Cedric walking towards me. I froze, this was the last thing I needed right now.

"Hey Lila! Did you just finish break-...." his voice trailed away as he saw my expression and the smile fell from his face. "What happened? Are you okay?" He stepped towards me, blocking my path with his body.

I refrained from looking at him, desperate to be back in the dorm, away from everyone.

"It's nothing, I... don't worry about it."

I tried to move around him but he stepped in synchronisation to block me again.

"Tell me, please?" He begged, his eyes holding nothing but compassion.

I sighed, if telling him was the only way he'd let me past then I had no other choice.

"So... maybe you've noticed that I wear a blue ribbon almost everyday?"

He nodded at this.

"Well it was my mothers and it was one of the only things I had left of her... she's gone. It's gone. I-I... lost it." I felt another tear slip down my cheek but I wiped it away harshly. I didn't want to make him feel weird by crying in front of him, it would only cause me further embarrassment. I would save that for when I was in my bed.

To my surprise he took my hand in his and held it tightly, "I'll help you look for it, I'm sure it's around here somewhere?"

I looked up at him, his eyes were full of pure sincerity and it tugged painfully at my heart. For some reason he really cared, but that wouldn't help in this situation.

I pulled my hand away and began to run up the stairs past him. I couldn't handle this right now.

I heard him trying to follow me but I turned.

"Cedric please don't, it's fine. The ribbon is gone and it's my fault. I just want to be alone okay? I'm sorry." I begged, backing away from him slowly.

His face held a sad expression but I ignored it and continued towards the Ravenclaw tower before he could reply.