Dear Diggory

chapter 70

I turned and fled.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, pounding the stone floor of the castle.

My limbs burnt with the exertion and tears streamed down my face in a hot mess. I was choking on them as I gasped for air, running and running.

Once I reached the dorm room I slammed the door shut and fell onto my bed in a heap.

My mind was racing a million miles a minute as I sobbed into my pillow, coating it with warm tears. My body was racked with shudders as I drew in heavy breaths, trying to hold onto my own sanity as I gripped the sheets.

But my heart felt it most of all, aching with a type of pain I'd never felt before. I hadn't prepared for this, hadn't kept up a thin wall around it just incase.

I tried to calm myself, attempting to make sense of my scrambled thoughts.

I flicked between disbelief, shock and disappointment, but the pain remained most prominent, throbbing through my veins like icy fire.

Cedric had betrayed me on the highest level. Every moment we'd shared felt like a lie, tainted and ugly now.

I cried harder as I realised how my trust for him had shattered the moment he kissed Penelope, shattering into smithereens.

It was like my nightmare had come true, the fears and doubts I'd had about their friendship were real. I'd pushed them all down before, reassuring myself I was worrying unnecessarily.

I regretted that now, it had been stupid, reckless, blind.

I felt like a fool for every moment I'd spent loving him.

And that was the exact problem, I loved Cedric. I still love Cedric. That wasn't going to go away anytime soon and it made the pain even more intense.

The way they looked at one another flashed through my brain and I clammed my eyes shut, desperately trying to remove the image. But even when I managed to ignore them, his words replayed through my mind like a broken record.

I love you Penelope.

He loved her, which meant he had never really loved me.

You didn't cheat on someone you love.
You didn't lie to their face.
You didn't kiss other girls in the school courtyard.

And that was what hurt most of all, above everything else was the fact that it had all been a lie. Every second of our seemingly wonderful relationship was a facade.

I screamed into my pillow as I remembered the way he'd made love to me the first time, and every night since.

I'd trusted him so intimately and he'd taken those moments from me when he knew he was hiding the truth. It was wicked, pure evil, deception of the highest degree.

I don't know how long I laid there for, reliving the horror of the last few perfect months up until this day of hell.

I thought through every moment in my head, searching for signs I might have missed.

I thought and thought and thought, until my tears were used up and I had only the dry remnants on my cheeks.

I lifted my gaze from the spot on the wall I'd been staring at, glancing towards the window. The sun was setting outside, bringing the night out to play, and I sat up in my bed, dragging my weak limbs into action.

My head was groggy and I groaned slightly at the throbbing migraine beginning to form in my temple. I reached for my wand, uttering a small relief charm but it didn't seem to help much.