I love you Dr Reid {S.R X Reader}✔︎

4. Life goes on

The next morning you woke up to a grey frosty morning. Your head still resting on Spencers chest. For a split second you forgot about everything that had happened to you but suddenly it all came flooding back and you felt the overwhelming grief begin to brew in the pit of your stomach.

Y'see there are 7 stages of Grief

1.Shock and denial - You had passed this stage

2. Pain and guilt - You had basically passed this stage all though you did wonder if you were ever going to not feel guilty.

3. Anger and bargaining

4. Depression

5. The upward turn

6. Reconstruction and working through

7. Acceptance and hope.

You went through the stages in your head. It wasn't like you hadn't lost people before, you knew what grief felt like. Despite this fact it didn't stop you from feeling any less shit.

The thing about losing people is that although it's a cliché thing to say, but the world doesn't stop moving, even though one life has ended doesn't mean your life has, and you wonder how can you continue when the worst thing in the world has happened. How can you move on from that. How can you go a day with out bursting into tears.

You stared at the wall for a while, it all felt like a nightmare, you wondered if Spencer wasn't lying bed next to you if you would have just thought it to be a nightmare until someone broke the news to you that you didn't just have a very vivid dream.

Quietly you sat up trying hard not to wake spencer, who looked so peaceful when he slept. His wounds had been treated, and you assumed while you were in shock he was probably seen to by a medic.

You took a deep breath before you stood up. Fighting every thought that was telling you to lie back down. You crept out your room and into the kitchen.

Nothing felt right, you still weren't sure how to fell, you stood there for a moment once again staring numbly at the wall. Then you went to go make yourself a cup of coffee but as you went to grab a coffee cup, you knocked another glass, it fell out the cabinet and smashed on the floor.

You watched as the glass exploded when it hit the floor, little shards flying everywhere.

You bent down to pick up the shards when Spencer came rushing into the kitchen to see what had happened. He stopped when he saw you crouched down over the shattered cup. His eyes directed to your numb facial expressions and your slow movements, it was heart breaking to watch and so he came over to help.

"what happened?" He asked softly

"It just fell out" your voice was quiet and monotone

"Hey I'll do this go sit down" he said kindly. This for no reason what-so-ever seemed to annoy you.

"No I can do it" you said impatiently.

"It's really no trouble" Spencer insisted

"I'm not a fucking baby!" you snapped, immediately regretting it. You realise your rudeness and sat back against the lower cabinet doors, bringing your knees up to your chest, taking slow and deep breaths

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude I just-"

"Hey, hey it's ok you're frustrated i get it you don't need to apologise" Spencer interrupted

"but you've been really good to me and your the one who should be getting special treatment, I mean you did get abducted after all" you pointed out. Suddenly you felt selfish, you hadn't once asked if he was ok.