I love you Dr Reid {S.R X Reader}✔︎

8. Demons

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and other mental health problems.

I try to be as sensitive as i can be in my writing but if you do get triggered by any of these subjects perhaps this chapter is not for you. However if you have been following this series and you want to continue but do get triggered by these subjects if you message me directly I can send you the chapter with out the subjects mentioned. For those who are choosing to continue reading please be caution I genuinely care about your wellbeing and I would hate for anyone to feel affected by the topics in this chapter.

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As 3 months passed by, Summer turned to Fall, the days got shorter and colder and the green leaves began to turn brown and fall from the trees.

This used to be your favourite time of year, it wasn't too hot, but wasn't too cold. There was so much beauty in the orange and brown leaves. It was the time of the year that you felt cosy, unfortunately this year wasn't the same.

Yes visibly everything was the same, the leaves changed colour, the air was cooler, and the trees seemed a little more bare everyday, but your life had turned upside down and even the small things that brought you joy no longer did.

Your mental health was on a steady decline, you barely slept, or ate, yet you didn't have the energy to do anything. Most days you had to force yourself to get out of bed. You were just so tired of it all, and at this point every bone in your body wanted to die, everyday got harder and for reasons that you weren't sure of you chose to keep going.

Nothing about your situation was easy, you were in a constant state of paranoia, and anxiety. You changed your car number plate weekly and you wore sun glasses and a hat no matter what the weather was, always a hat of some kind to hide your face.

You hadn't smiled or laughed in months, you barely even cried anymore, you were numb. Sometimes all you wanted to did was feel something, sometimes the frustration of not feeling drove you insane, drove you to do things you knew you shouldn't do. You had a masters degree is Psychology, you knew it was wrong, you knew it was unhealthy but it was the only release you had nowadays.

Every time the blade would pierce your skin you felt a sense of calm, or when the flame began to burn your arm you felt at peace. Sometimes you hoped that it would trigger an emotion but it didn't. Yet you still did it, it was what you did instead of ending it all.

Nothing felt right anymore you didn't even recognise yourself. Your arms were scarred, your hair was different your beautiful y/e/c eyes no longer shone like they used to, your lips were pale and dry mainly because you bit them so much and yet despite everything you still checked the news for new stories about the BAU and you still thought about spencer and the team daily, and somehow you still held onto hope that one day you would come home.

On your way to your next location you stopped off at a café to get something to drink. While waiting in the que you looked up at the tv in the corner of the room. The news was on, and as you read the headline you noticed the top story had something to do with the BAU. Nervously you asked one of the waitresses to turn up the volume, when she did you felt your heart drop

"And breaking news the FBIs Behavioural Analysis team has gone missing. The agents were working on a case in Virginia when they all vanished. In the warehouse that they were searching, forensics found traces of a knock out gas, leading the FBI to believe the team had been abducted. The BAUs tech analyst also went missing that night on her way home from work. The FBI have no idea how this happened but believe the team were lured into a trap. Here are the names of the missing agents SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA David Rossi, SSA Emily Prentiss, SSA Derek Morgan, SSA Jennifer Jareau, SSA Dr Spencer Reid and Agent Penelope Garcia. The FBI ask that if you see or hear anything suspicious, to please call the number displayed at the bottom of your television". the news reader stated.