Forgive me, help me, be with me (fapezberry) {Complete}

Chapter 21

-Rachel pov-
We are a week away from Sectionals and I'm flipping out! The girls keep telling me I have to stay calm but I can't! We still don't even have our songs selected! How do you compete without a game plan?!

I feel like I'm so lost right now. The week started great with the baby but now....now I'm just stressed. Glee club is my ticket to...well I don't know. I still plan on Broadway but I haven't picked a college. I know I need to get my choice done soon though.

I sigh and head to the glee room. I'm going to talk to Shelby about our song selection. We really should focus on it. It needs to be done before it's too late!

"Rachel!" I look up and see Shelby looking at me "You good? You seem out of it"

"Yeah" I walk over to here with a smile "I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about!"

"Hang on ok?" I frown but nod as she looks at the club "I finally have some song choices and who will be doing them!"

"Great!" I smile again "That's what I was gonna talk to you about! Who's got them?"

"Tina I have you doing 'Want you back' and dancing with Mike" I don't lose my smile cause I could always do the duet "For duet 'stereo hearts' I have Lucy and Santana! Group will be split between our soloist, duet partners, aaaaannnd Brittany!"

"What?" Shelby looks at me confused and I try to keep myself reigned in "I'm not doing anything?"

"You'll be doing back and dancing" Shelby tilts her head "Thats something right?"

"B-b-b-but I" I look at the club then my mom "I need the solo or a duet part"

"Rachel" Shelby puts a hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eyes "I want you taking it easy"

"Wait" I take a step back "So I won't be doing anything at Regionals either....I WONT PERFORM AT ANY COMPETITION?!"

"Rachel you are pregnant" Shelby puts a hand on her hip "As your mother I have to watch out for your well being! It's important that you are safe!"

"So you finally decide to be my mom and then you bench me?!" I don't recognize what I said until I see Shelbys face "I-I am so sorry Shelby! I-I didn't mean it!"

"I think Glee is ending early for today" Shelby grabs her things and walks to the door "Judy will take you three home"

I watch her leave and then slowly fall to my knees. I feel hands on my shoulders and start crying. I just got my mom back and I pushed her away again! I always mess up! I can never just let good enough be enough!

"Rachel?" I look up at Tina "If you want you can take the solo"

"No" I sniffle and stand up with my girlfriends help "You deserve to shine too....you are great Tina"

"Thank you Rachel" She pulls me into a hug "I won't let you down"

"I know you won't" We break apart and I look at my girlfriends "You two are going to do great too"

"It wasn't just Shelbys choice...she actually was more against it" I look at Lucy confused "Santana and I are the ones that brought it up to her to sit you and be more careful with you"

"Why?" They share a look I didn't fully see "What?"

"We know how....overactive and things you get when preparing for these solos" Santana sighs "We don't want you...we don't want you killing yourself or the baby! We don't need you getting to stressed and then blaming yourself cause the baby dies! We know you couldn't live with that and neither could we!"

"What did Shelby say?" Santana looks away so I look at Lucy "Luce?"

"She said she didn't want to lose you by sitting you out" Lucy sighs and looks at the ground "We promised her she wouldn't...but your reaction probably showed her other wise"