Chapter 41

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Things haven't been the same with me and Devon.

The happiness I was feeling when we kissed? Gone.

He's upset with me, rightfully so, I think? Our project has been finished for a few weeks and I cut him off. He tries to talk to me in the halls sometimes but I ignore him.

I wanted so bad to be happy. I tried to be happy around him. I was lying to myself and Devon.

Even if I did feel something with Devon, it wasn't happiness. Maybe I was feeling hopeful that I could be happy, maybe I was feeling adrenaline for that fact that I was kissing someone who wasn't Cole.

What was wrong with me?

I sat in my room waiting for Helen to get home for dinner. My driver had just dropped me off from school. It was Friday and I couldn't wait to lay in my bed the rest of weekend.

Depression? That's what Devon called it, wasn't it?

Helens been on call a lot recently. Apparently October is busy month for the police department with Halloween pranks and such.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

I heard noise from downstairs.

My heart was already hurting from what it could possibly be.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

There is was again, a knocking noise.

I made my way down the stairs and into the living room.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

I sighed at my own stupidity when I realized it was just someone at the front door.

I swallowed my fear and looked through the peep hole.

Devon. He's coming to my house now?!

"What are you doing here?" I only opened the door slightly so he could see my face and nothing else.

"You're avoiding me at school...so here I am."

"I've been avoiding you for 3 weeks, Devon. I think you should take the hint that I don't want to talk to you." I closed the door.

It was stopped by his foot.

Devon opened the door back up and stepped inside.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I did something to weird you out-"

I cut him off. "Like kiss me?" I told him.

"I thought you liked that?" He asked.

"It made things awkward between us. I didn't like it." I lied.

I did like it, it just made me nervous that I could be feeling something like that with someone else. Was I capable of it in this life time? Even if I am, Devon doesn't deserve my baggage.

"Oh." Devon looked to the floor.

"What did you come here for?" I asked him again.

"To see if you wanted to go to a Halloween party, as my date...but obviously you're not into me like that." He huffed.

"I don't talk to you for weeks and you want to come and ask me on a date?" I almost laughed.

Devon put his hands on his hips. "Well. I'm intrigued by you...what can I say?" He was trying to defend his dumb move to come here.

"What's so interesting about me?"

"You're openly yourself, even though you're sad. Other girls...they hide that shit."

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