Her Dark Shadow

•Chapter One: Camden•

My name's Camden Conner. Tomorrow is my birthday, the big thirteen; the day you're finally not a little kid any more.
I can't wait.
Earlier today, January 10th, my mom decided to throw a party for me. My family was there: cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents--the whole nine yards, really.
Except for friends.
I don't have those, though.
•~Earlier Today~•
I run around our leather couch to open the Mahogany chest that holds the blankets, and dash back to my seat exceptionally fast. Not for protection from the chilliness in the air, but for comfort.
See, my cousin Dana-lie decided we should watch a horror movie. Sure, why not, let's not let the birthday boy choose. In fact, why don't we call him a pansy for protesting?
That's what happened.
Anyway, as I squeeze my cotton blanket, a zombie eats this guy alive. The sound effects are nauseating.
And I head to my room.
"Wuss!" My cousins call at my back.
When I open the door, I see that Felicia and Rickman are inside. See, this I wouldn't be upset about. I don't mind a few kids in my room. Our house isn't that fun, anyway. But playing with toys was not the idea my cousins had in mind. Instead, they chose destruction. Ripping up the drawings I have had for...well, ever sense the accident.
They're pictures of demons, the metaphorical figures who have been haunting me for about a year now. Wait, let me backtrack--that sounds creepy. Why would I run away from the gore of a zombie movie and to a sanctuary haunted with demons? They help me cope.
"What do you think you're DOING?" I scream at my cousins, horrified. "What's WRONG with you?" My voice cracks.
"Camden, hon, what's wrong, son?" My mom tries to comfort me, but I push her away.
"Do you know what these ARE? THEY'RE SPECIAL! IMPORTANT!"
"Camden, hon, it's okay, it is, really. You can draw them again, can't you?" Mom tries to talk soothingly, but I can hear the hurt in her voice. She knew what these signified; she knew how much they helped.
I hear screaming, and it takes a while for me to understand it's coming out of my mouth. As I realize this, my throat turns raw. The sound is as if I'm being burned alive.
I realize I'm overreacting; I know that annoying cousins are nothing to scream and holler over, and that yes, Mom, I can re-draw these stupid pictures. But I can't convince my mouth to stop making the pained, excruciating noise, and I can't convince my hands to un-clench their death grip on my mother's wrist.
As I scream, blood rushing to my head, the room starts to get darker, the darkness working its way from the outside in. Camden, I tell myself, shut up!
I think I feel and hear Mom trying to calm me down, convince me that everything's okay.
And part of me agrees with her. Part of me knows full well that I'll be fine, and that pain will dull over time, and that everything will soon be better than okay; it will be great. But another, deeper, darker, scarier part of me says no. Nothing will ever be fine, or great or even okay, because death brings pain, and pain is un-avoidable. That part of me says no. It won't be okay, and it never will be.
•~Now~•
We have a special doctor on speed dial; he's mostly for panic attacks.
Yeah, the darkness? That was me blacking out.
I shutter. I couldn't control myself...
Anyway, tomorrow. January 11th.
The wish I made on my cake, before the attack, of course, was that Ezrynn Lea could be my friend. The girl with the curly, honey-brown hair, the tan complexion, and sea green eyes, or stormy grey, depending on the weather.
Her dad is the principal, Principal Lea. He told me, with great reluctance that he promptly ignored, wanting me to know about other pain no doubt, about what she went through growing up. And it's horrible.
I was absolutely shocked it happened to her. 
The Ezrynn with the sweet smile to whoever looks her direction?  The one who seems to radiate a glowing aura of friendliness?  I didn't think so.
She looks joyful, but I know better. I don't know how she can even try on that purely toothed grin of hers, let alone keep it on all day. I can't, and my tragedy was easier than hers was.
I'm nervous around her because, like everyone else, I have a crush on her.
But, if she hasn't noticed me before, who says she will now? Unless blowing the candles isn't just a stupid tradition.
I know I should talk to her. I know she'll listen--it's just part of her personality.
But why would she choose me over all the other kids who like her?
I guess I want more than a friend...
I don't need more than a friend, though. I would be more than happy to meet Ezrynn's aquatint in any form she'd want--a person with that form of intense kindness shouldn't have another look the other direction.
But even so, why would she choose me, the geek who sits in History three rows behind her and four seats to the right, who she probably doesn't even know exists? Even if she did, why would she choose me, the boy who went to Principal Lea once his life fell apart?
Why would she choose me?
She wouldn't.
Not me.
Not her.
Not together.
Not ever.

***Author's Note***
Hey, this is 101_lover_book, or @book_lover_101 from Instagram.
I wrote this a couple years ago, and I decided "What the heck? I'll post it on Wattpad:)"
I dedicate this chapter to VeronicaKruschel because she is awesome and supportive and just the best, and hibookxo because she/(he?) told me how to do this author's note thing;) This story is important to me because it is in some ways relatable.
I will post once someone wants another chapter;) I have a short story called "A+" and a fanfic for the Divergent Lovers, and possible pansycakes;) called "Coming Back". Hope you enjoy this chapter, and Happy Martin Luther King Weekend! Byeeeee<3

Hello, this is older and more literary 101_lover_book. If you've read this work before, I suggest you read it once again, because I will be editing each chapter, and it will be much easier to read and enjoy once I'm finished. 
Love you peoples!
-101_lover_book