Her Dark Shadow

•Chapter Seven: Camden•

January 12:
I can't believe I believed her!
"Meet tomorrow?"
Why did I think she meant that? She probably said it so she could make a quick getaway.
And that she did. I didn't see her at all today.

"Ey, Chump, you seem glum today, Chump. You got somethin' sad, Chump? Your girlfriend dump you, Chump? Oh, wait, no one would ever date you, Chump. 'Cause you're a Chump." Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him! "Did yo' Daddy die, Chump?"
"Ah!"
Suddenly, Finnegan's on the pavement with a bloody nose, and I find myself kicking him. And with each kick, I say one word.
"Don't-you-EVER-talk-about-my-DAD!"
"I won't, I won't, I wo-oh-oh-on't!" Finnegan's on the ground crying now.
I look at my hands, and on them there's dry blood.
And I break down.

Sense my dad died, I've only cried once, and that was when I found out.

See, he had been on this big important trip. He died the day I was to see him.

He was on his way home, listening to our "family album"(Some songs each of us like all in one CD), and this semi T-Boned his cruiser.

Such a stereotypical way to die, so sudden, so commonly heard of.

So common that no one notices the loss, really.

So I had only cried once.

It wasn't because I thought tears were a sign of weakness, because I know I'm weak, as is everyone.

We all are specks stuck in a giant forever.

And tell me-how is that not weak? If not helpless.

Totally helpless, all of us.

Not because I thought tears were embarrassing, or because I'm 'Too old for them'.

But because...I knew they wouldn't bring him back, because dying is forever, and nothing, especially not tears, can change that.

Some argue that he's in a better place, or that he's with their 'heavenly father'. But how is that better than with his family? It's not. We are eternally lost, forever. I can except that, but I didn't think I would haft to so soon.

Some argue that yes something can, in fact, change death. And again, it's their Heavenly Father.

When have you EVER heard of that happening in this day in age? When has someone died and then a freaking year later came back to life?

It doesn't happen!

But now, as I lie down next to idiot Finnegan, I let them spill, the tears, hoping that they can bring Dad back, excepting that they can't.
A neighbour comes to help what cannot be helped, and never will be.
She or He pokes at me, "Are you okay?", I see them mouth.
It's then that I realise I can't hear anything.
Nothing but a ringing. Very loud, obnoxious.
My vision starts to blur.
Mom is bent over me, blurry, but there. She's mouthing my name. Her hands reach down but I cannot feel them.
It starts to get dark, night returning for it's never ending cycle, despite the situation.
Or maybe because of it.
Soon a cop car shows up, I can tell because of the red and blue flashing lights, but nothing else.
My body is raised, onto a cot with wheels, and my blurry vision plus the bumpy vision gives me a headache, so I close my eyes.

And they don't open.