The secrets I keep

Turn off the lights

TW: Mention of past events

*Evan*

The night rolled by so slowly that it honestly felt like the world had stopped turning. My thoughts kept wandering to everything that's happened since the guys arrived. The way that Wayne was so ready to hit both Brock and Tyler, that I started cutting, that Wayne hasn't come back since Marcel caught him and that my thoughts are getting so much darker.

After what felt like forever, Brian and Brock had came in to check on me, I begged them to leave me alone, telling them that I was fine and that they shouldn't be worrying about me. They both just looked at each other, telling me that I needed to let go of Wayne, and although part of me agreed, I knew that he would most likely track me down and kill me.

They both left a few hours ago, leaving me to my thoughts, at some point or another everyone wanted to see me but I'd just stay silent until they went away, my back leaned against the end of my bed as my knees were pulled up to my chest. I had turned off the lights that Brock insisted on keeping on, saying that it could be a metaphor for positivity.

Fuck...

The guys might be right... Maybe I should break up with Wayne. I dont belong here, I mean, trust me, I've tried my best, but it's so damn hard.

"Evan?" A silent knock echoed through my room, I kept my head in my knees, not noticing the figure approaching me. The stranger sat beside me, the presence felt comforting in some way..

"Evan look at me."

Jon.

I didnt move, I didnt have the energy too.

He sighed and cautiously wrapped an arm around my cold shoulder, pulling me softly so my head was on his shoulder, my gaze was fixed on the picture of Wayne on the floor infront of me. I'd brought it down with me after I moved from my bed and moped on the floor at the end of it. Trying to hold on to any hope of this somehow working out.

Delirious was silent, his breathing stable and quiet. He wasn't worried, he never is. If I'm honest I'm jealous of how he can hold together so easily. Meanwhile I'm over here breaking at the raise of a voice, it's so stupid.

"What's on your mind?" He softly spoke up, sighing when I wouldn't reply "This isn't like you, what happened to the Vanoss that-"

"Do you feel happy?" I mumbled, his hand that was holding my shoulder tensed up a bit, his thumb began rubbing in circles - in what I guess an attempt to comfort me.

"Why do you ask that?" I could feel his  curious gaze on me, I didnt respond as he shifted beside me. "Evan look at me."

I held my knees protectively to my chest that shakily rose and fell, taunting the tears that I've been biting my toungue and holding back ever since Jon arrived.
Del mumbled something and shuffled a bit, making me jump as I felt something under my jaw.
He held his hand gently, making me look at him, his diamond-blue eyes held a sympathetic expression as he moved his hand away, my own eyes moving from him to anything else. A desperate attempt to not break down then and there.

*Jon*

I moved my hand from under his face and held back the urge to throw my arms around him once his dark brown stare landed on me, dark circles stroked under his eyes as a red tint painted the sclera, hed been crying . His face had lost the spark of energy that I loved so dearly and his smile was absent, replaced with a line trembled every few seconds.

"Oh Evan..." I sighed, furrowing my brows ever so slightly. My words were laced with empathy that i didnt bother to hide, he pulled his face away, and numbly returned them to his knees.