Total eclipse of a heart (Embry Call)

42. A throne without faith

My fingers twitch, nails digging into the leather beneath me. I feel heavy; cold, my body shivers. The torment, the fire inside has quelled and ice has taken its place.

Though the pain has subsided, I struggle to form a coherent thought. Memories are hazy, but I know there are new ones uncovered, resurfacing after years of suppressing the trauma I've endured.

I've been bitten. I remember as much. Death would have been more tolerable than anything this life brings.

Will Embry detest my existence?

Will my father seek to kill me?

Is this how I become Alec's mate?

Far too many questions plague me, the answers evade me. I always knew I'd die a violent death, I simply didn't account for a possiblity of a violent new life.

Blood is meant to drive my stone cold heart, yet all I seem to desire is one of Emily's cupcakes and the cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows Jacob would make me drink when I'd have a hard time falling asleep. And his embrace; Embry's warm arms to stop me from shivering. His soothing voice and gentle smile, the reassuring light inside his deep brown eyes.

I need Embry.

"Open your eyes, my little huntress."

The sickly sweet voice is hard to ignore, his call forcing my eyes open. The walls are white, painfully white as snow on a sunny day. Blinking fast, I frown. Do vampires blink?

"Why aren't her eyes red?" Another voice sounds, the tone harsher than the first one. "She doesn't look like a newborn." The woman speaks with haste, her words spat as if I'm nothing more than a menace.

Sitting up, I look at the leather couch I've been laid upon, scrunching up my nose at the distasteful sound it makes.

"She's glorious. Can't you see it, sister?"

I take the chance to look myself over for injuries, but my skin is smooth and pale, the imperfections erased as if the artist made a mistake on the canvas of my soul. I, signs of a life lived, have been erased.

"She looks like a human doll, not one of us!" The woman seethed, attracting my attention.

"She can hear you." My voice is unusually clear, but my tone is venomous.

The two turn to me, their red eyes now serve as an eyesore. It's blood, not melanin, giving the rich velvet pools of red. Once upon a time, I had thought his eyes were beautiful, that is no longer the case.

Their skin isn't as perfect as it seemed, their once inviting presence making me sick, but they don't seem invincible anymore. They feel vulnerable.

"What have you done?" I direct my question to Alec who keeps his eyes fixed on me, no inkling of emotion that would give away his true intent. Embry was always easy to read, his heart on his sleeve, but Alec is stone - a beautiful one, but undeniably dangerous.

"What I had to in order to save your life." He states, remaining impassive. The words echo in the furthest walls I've built up in my mind, ominously familiar.

"What about the girl?" I hear them speak, faintly as my own heartbeat is loud enough to tune out outside voices.

"She will be mine. As for now, this is a message they will certainly understand." His voice makes me shut my eyes, holding my breath as if it would save me from the shadow of his presence at the foot of the bed.

"I wouldn't expect her to be compliant after what you've done."

"I did what I had to do."

"You should have let me die." I growl, appearing before him in moment's time enough to frighten myself. Alec didn't seem to fear me at all.

"I could. But I don't want to know what it means to be in this world without you in it." Alec's eyes remain on me, searching for emotions, a clue as to how he should proceed. He's grasping for straws, hoping it would be enough for me to stay...to chose him.

But I can't.

Not now.

Not ever.

Not when I know the truth.

"Should have thought of that before you murdered my mother." I sneer in his face, unapologetic and way past caring. Death had nearly caught me, more than once and Alec made sure I fell into its clutches. He made sure many did as well.

"No witty remark, huh?" My eyes fill with tears...no, not really tears, a fluid I couldn't shed. I'm one of them now, a far cry from a fragile human I once was.

Before he has a chance to react, I push forth and hit his chest, sending him flying into a wall.

I don't hear her say it, but I feel her wrath instead. Crumbling to the ground, blinded by the wretched illusion of pain, Jane had gotten me on my knees and though they said it's an illusion, it feels fucking real to me.

Every cell of my body is disintegrating, every atom set off its harmonic spin, the thoughts in my head unable to form and my heart, as dead as it is, clenches in my chest as if my ribcage is too small to fit the muscle.

"STOP", Alec's scream reaches me, even in the agony and I fall forth, barely stopping myself from hitting the floorboards face first.

Gasping, I'm quick to stand, a feral woman with a thirst growing quickly. Baring teeth, I snarl his way and notice him flinch.

Finally some fear.

"You're not a vampire." Alec's surprise is palpable, but it won't stop me from my intent.

My hope is gone, faith tested and I've failed. The throne I've been given is without a name, but I will make sure those who cross me will meet the same fate.

"Whatever I am, my face is the last thing you'll see."