INVITATION ONLY. ✓ J. JUNGKOOK.

part twenty three.

" HER LOVE FOR HIM. "

cosmopolitan, 11:46pm.

the girls heart sank as she curled herself upon the grey couch while her roommate was watching a movie in the bedroom.

when she was sad the weight drops off giving the illusion that she were weightless or "empty." but in reality, y/n was never really empty, she was just full of the wrong thing.

the feelings she had for jungkook won't go away until her body ceases to function and her heart would prepare for whatever comes after.

she hoped that somehow the feelings were embedded into her soul, that their love will endure. even during misunderstandings like these, her love for him rides underneath it all.

y/n never realized how deep she had fallen for the professional poker player, what was really holding her back from admitting she liked him?

a huge part of the solution lies in the understanding of the way we feel, what triggers negative thoughts and how we avoid acting on them.

the pure silence comforted her until a knock was heard at the door, the knock came quietly first and then there was silence.

removing her from her clouded mind to get up and open it, a voice came from the other side, a very familiar and one she didn't like the sound of at the moment.

"my dearest brother... come to teach me another lesson?" y/n sarcastically asks, wanting to slam the door in his face.

"damn what's up with you?" he placed his hand between the door after the girl rolled her eyes at her sibling.

letting himself in, he stared down his sister confused with her sudden attitude, yeonjun noticed that she had been down this following week and that's why he wanted to talk to her.

"you've been acting like this ever since your first tournament." y/n sighed as she sat back down on the grey furniture.

"your stupid scandal assumption ruined everything."
"what?"
"he hates me because i was apart of your plan."

"you're gonna be like this because of some boy?"
yeonjun scoffed at his sister, finding her exaggerating over the situation.

but what he didn't know was how much jungkook meant to her. he gave her feelings that she never experienced, as none of the boys at her schools took relationships seriously.

the direct words 'some boy' made y/n's anger boil, he was more than that to her, and yeonjun couldn't see that they had something special.

"because fuck my feelings right?" she cursed while poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue.
"not that, im just saying that losing him shouldn't have taken such a toll on you..."

the 21 year old had enough of their interaction, she got up to escort her brother out of her suite.
"you yeonjun.. are the author of the way i am."

time skip, 12:09am.

"is everything okay y/n?"
you hummed softly in response searching in the fridge for any alcoholic beverages.

yeji, who was tucked under the covers watching her movie, was concerned about your lack of emotion all day.

the melancholy gives away the exit even as it pretends it isn't there, softly calling you away from the situation and to just forget about it.

it told you that you could no longer ask for a hug, stop the desperate need for jungkook's return of feelings, or drink away your problems, hearing how the music plays in the atmosphere.

"if my brother would stop being an asshole," she laughed at your comment and wrapped her arms around the small plushie.

"i'll be on the balcony, goodnight yeji."
she yawned and waved as you stepped outside with a bottle of alcohol, a glass, and a speaker in your hands.

for many, alcohol is described as a fun, social substance. drinking alcohol can make people feel happy in the moment, but it can also leave them hung with negative emotions long after the bottle is empty.

it had seemed that the more you drink, the more vulnerable your brain becomes to the effects of alcohol, potentially making your moods more volatile over time.

you missed having a glass of good, chilled tropical strawberry in your hand on a windy night in sin city.
you would space off and indulge yourself in the pleasure of the lofi music, punch and sangria all in one.

overall, it may be said that you were just drinking to numb your feelings.
though drinking would often overcome the feeling of neediness, you knew the next morning you would wake up in a pool of shame.

drinking cold alcohol at night feels like the greatest luxury on earth. the ice falls against the glass, your fingers sliding on the condensation before they regain their grip. you feel the chill run down your spine and your head makes an involuntary shake.

refilling your glass, you heard a lowered music coming from your right while standing over the metal bar.
and that's when you saw the interior of a silhouette from the suite next door, someone who you could recognize - featureless.