KOTLC Oneshots

20. Ex's and Oh's

Thank you @Twinwritersforever for the ship u wanted, I may not ship it, but I'm quite happy to write it for you guys. Also thanks to all those b*tches on the sokeefe oneshots story by @reina_writes on that looooooong chain on the "that time of the month chapter" 

You guys and gals all rule. 

Three things! #1, Okay so ima break one of my rules here, but basically, I'm imagining heartbroken Biana. Which is like...heartbroken me basically. ANYWAYS. When my heart hurts, I swear. It will not say the exact words, and I'll bleep them out, but just warning you. #2, this is mainly platonic. Tiana is hardcore OTP for me, so I didn't imagine it romantic, but if you want it to be, Dex is bi or pan and after the ending the end. this is supposed to be the champagne prompt, but these guys in this are like...I think 16? So guess what? IT"S FIGHTING OVER ICE CREAM BIOTECS. Yah that's how I wrote this. I think. Or really WILL write it considering...okay I'm shutting my weird thoughts' flood gates rn. Onto the one-shot!

Biana POV

F***ing dumped. He f***ing dumped me.

Me! Biana Vacker! All for that b!!ch. Speaking of Sophie I gotta call her back...

Ugh.

I walked into the grocery in my unicorn slippers-it's been a rough couple of days-glaring at a shopping cart. Out of anger, I kicked it in the wheels. Then I started feeling bad. Hmph.

5 years of dieting and healthy eating is gonna be thrown away all over Keefe this week. The motherfricking idiot.

Chocolate Icecream, Doritos, Cheetos, defacing every E. L. Fudges box I can find....

Yup, that's my shopping list. Time to go.

.............

Dex POV

Cheater. Stupid cheater. How did I ever fall for stupid Wonder Stupid Boy?

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Is this what I get for just being a kind cinnamon roll? I get forgotten AND cheated on? With some random girl named Chandi Leir nonetheless. (I swear she's just gonna be mentioned every one-shot from now on peeps)

Right now all I want is to just cry and eat ice cream. Chocolate ice cream. And Cheetos. And cry. Great shopping list, Dex.

............

I had grabbed my Doritos and Cheetos, "Accidentally" dropped all the E. L. Fudges boxes and ran them over with my cart. Now all I had to get was the ice cream.

Walking over to the dairy aisle, I skimmed my eyes over all the flavours. Vanilla, Carmel, Strawberry...strawberry. That was Keefe's favourite flavour. He always said he liked the way...the way...

I broke down, sobbing.

I know how cliché it sounds, straight girl crying over her ex in the freezer of a dairy section. But I honestly didn't care. He was so funny, but a jerk, but he was haaawwwwttt. I let lose another sob.

But I heard another sob coming from down the aisle. I looked over.

Standing by the mint-chocolate-chip ice cream was this strawberry-blond guy my age with periwinkle blue eyes. That's when I realized : sheit I can see his eyes. He's looking at me. Fricking F***.

"Wh-what a-are y-y-you loo-king a-a-at b-b-i-bi-bitc!?" He sniffled.

"I don't know d-d-di**!" I yelled/sniffled back at him.

"JUST DON'T TOUCH MY ICE CREAM!!!" The guy cried at me then bolted to the chocolate ice cream. Yes. The one chocolate ice cream.

"OUT OF MY WAY BRIDGE!" I screamed at him. With a battle cry, I grabbed the last tub before him.

"GIVE IT IT'S M I N E !" He cried/screamed. By the looks of it, we were both hot messes right now. This guy ran over and started tugging at the tub while screaming.

I yanked his hair.

He pushed me into the ice cream freezers.

I banged into the glass.

He sprinted.

I threw a shopping cart at him.

He fell over on the floor into a barrel roll.

He threw his Cheetos at me.

I threw a tub of mint-chocolate-chip ice cream at his face

He ran clo-

"Hormonal teenagers in aisle 3, you gonna clean that up Greg?" We heard a monotone voice across the loudspeaker.

The two of us looked at each other and all around us. Our hair was in rat's nests, ice cream and Cheetos were spewed on and around us, the freezers had an imprint on them that looked suspiciously like my silhouette, and our faces were puffy red disasters.

So I did the only logical thing.

Cry.

Soon we ended up hugging and crying into each other on the floor. When the waterworks stopped, we both stared into each others eyes.

"You know, I have a good idea," I whispered.

..................

She payed for the ice cream, I payed for bowls and forks. The staff didn't bother charging us for the mess, but this one old cashier kept on muttering "hormonal teenagers," and "you kids."

And that's how we found ourselves sitting on the rock ledge at the front of the grocery store.

We ended up splitting the last tub of ice cream, and sharing our misery.

"So," the teal-eyed girl started, "what's your name? Or do you just want me to keep on calling you d***?" She asked.

(Credits to this one reddit or Tumblr or whatever chain, they came up with this next part partially, not me.)

"Any gender-neutral names to call me? I mean, you've called me both d*** and b**** so just call me something else."

"Hmmm," she said, thinking. "Bitchard?"

I laughed, spewing a bit of chocolate ice cream out of my mouth, then laughing at that too. She joined in.

"Please," I said in a mock-posh accent. "Bitchard was my father. Call me D***."

"That-'s ho-ow w-we star-ted idiot!" she laughed.

I calmed my voice down and offered her a smile. "Dex," I offered.

"Any nicknames?"

"ummm my name is three letters. What would it be? De? Ex?" at the word "ex" I cringed. The girl seemed to notice.

"So, I'm gonna guess that your cringing and want of junk-food are because of a breakup?" She asked quietly.

I nodded and sighed, "Fitz Vacker. He cheated on me with this girl named Chandi." Now it was her turn to cringe. "What?" I asked.

"Fitz is uh...Fitz is my idiot brother."

"That...makes sense. Oh! So are you Biana?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I am. And if it helps, I'm here for a breakup too." I waited for her to continue. She sighed. "Keefe Sencen. Star quarterback in the high school."

"Yeah. I know him. He can be a jerk," I said.

She smirked. "Wanna get them back?" I made a puzzled expression. "Like revenge?" She clarified.

It was my turn to smirk. "Heck yes bridge."

Let's just say Keefe and Fitz were in a lot of pain for the days after.