my phone buzzes at 9 am waking me up. it's Kuro. i answer my phone without even opening my eyes.
"what kuro. it's so early"
"it's only 9 ken, and i called to make sure you're still coming today. the practice match starts at 10"
shit. i totally forgot i'm supposed to go with kuro to his girlfriends practice match.
it probably didn't help that i stayed up until 5:30, but i just couldn't go to sleep. all of kuro's words just kept replaying in my head. it was overwhelming. i cleared my throat to respond.
"yea yea. i know". my voice cracked when i said "know". kuro laughed. i hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes. i sat up in my bed thinking about how today would go.
i finally woke myself up just enough to get out of bed. i stretched my arms up over my head and yawned. as i made my way through the hall to the bathroom, my phone lit up. it was a text from hinata: "hi kenma! after our practice match tonight do you wanna go out to eat with me, noya, tanaka, and yamaguchi?"
i smiled at my phone. the little guy was a handful to hang out with. but he was fun. i'm surprised kageyama isn't going aswell. those two seem to always be together.
i started typing back: "kageyama isn't going? but yea. seems... fun". i sent the message and set my phone down. it was now 9:27. i had to get going soon, so i quickly got dressed and headed out the door.
i started my way down the side walk quickly. i didn't wanna be late because i didn't want Kuro to think i'm dissing him. i quickly made my way to the school. as i got to the gymnasium, the match was just starting.
it was loud, i wasn't sure why there was so many people at a practice match. i made my way through a small crowd of people and spotted Kuro in the corner of the gym.
before i could reach him, i felt a large hand grab my arm. lev. what does this kid want all the time.
i spun around to meet his gaze.
"hey kenma! are you here to watch the match?"
what kind of question is that. what else would i be here for. i stayed silent and looked down at my phone as it lit up. it's hinata: "i'm still trying to force kageyama to come. he called me a worthless loser and said he didn't wanna come"
i giggle at the message and close my phone. lev has been talking to me but i really haven't been listening. he seems lost in his own words.
i continue walking over to Kuro as lev follows me, still rambling on. i finally catch Kuro's eye.
"Ken! you made it!". he gives me a firm hug. Tora who's standing beside him, punches me in the arm. "HEY KENMA". tora is hyped up from the match.
the four of us find seats next to each other on the bleachers. it's a pretty good match, now 24-23 nekoma. the match has been back and forth. i never really enjoyed watching other people play, so my gaze keeps going to Kuro. he's watching so seriously. i love his passion for the game
his eyes are completely lit up watching each play. lev elbows me.
"kenma did you come to watch the game or to watch Kuroo?"
my face goes completely red. thank god the gym was so loud and him and tora didn't hear anything. i clench my fists embarrassed.
"quit it Lev" i scold the first year, trying to shut him up. he goes to say something else, but i scramble to cover his mouth. my eyes look at him helplessly. i'm not even sure why i was staring. or why i'm getting so defensive toward lev.
lev finally leaves me alone and gets back to watching the match. it ends with a serve, becoming 26-24 nekoma. the crowd jumped up excitedly around me. i unenthusiastically stand up.
Tora and Kuro hug eachother and scream cheering for the girls. they both love the sport more than anything. i love seeing him happy like this. sometimes when i'm with everyone else, i feel kind of like an outsider. when they're all exited and cheering. and i feel all alone.
tora and kuro force me into a squished group hug, chanting and yelling. after breaking from the hug tora says to kuro "emica did great. is she gonna come watch our practice match tonight against karasuno?"
that sentence made my heart drop. i knew it was emica. i honestly forgot that we came to watch kuro's girlfriend. honestly, i forgot for a second that he even had a girlfriend".
the gym dials down and gets quieter, as it's been about 15 minutes since the match has ended.
that burning sensation was back. that hopeless feeling in my chest was back from the sudden silence, and the thought of kuro's new girlfriend. and i hated it. i zoned out on the conversation for a second, focusing on the feeling.
"kenma!"
i looked up from my deep thought. everyone was staring at me. lev, tora, and kuro. all staring at me. i zoned out again
"i'm sorry. i zoned out"
lev smiles at me sincerely, and the three boys all laugh.
"i'm gonna go talk to emica for a bit, i'll meet up with you guys later" kuro says as he travels down the bleacher to the volleyball court where emica is chatting with her teammates.
lev, tora, and i move our talk to the corner of the gym. lev and tora are talking about our upcoming practice match, and i join in on the conversation about karasuno.
"i'm kinda stoked to play karasuno again" i say, "they're unpredictable, i like how they-"
and then i pause. no. it can't be.
down by the court, i see it. i see it clearly. my mind feels empty and i go dizzy. i feel nauseous. and hot.
kuro kissed her. he kissed her. and i saw it.
that's when i realised. i realised why i kept getting that weird feeling. i figured out why i couldn't stop thinking about kuro and emica. i wasn't jealous that he'd spend more time with her than me. i was jealous that she was dating him and i wasn't.
that feeling. i'm in love with kuro. and he kissed emica. he likes emica. and i just watched him kiss her
lev and tora are extremely confused. they could see the expression on my face and could tell something was really wrong. tears start streaming down my face. before they can say anything i run. i turn around and run. i run out the door and i run home crying. when i get home i run up to my room, ignoring my mom who asks what's wrong. i slammed the door and jumped on my bed.
i'm in love with kuro. oh god. why me.
YOU ARE READING
kenma x kuroo: whats a soulmate ?
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