The Fourth Notebook

66

Warning: contains suicide.
James POV
1-20-2015
I wait until the nurses come check on me at night. I pretend to be asleep when Nurse Patricia pokes her head in the room at ten. I have two hours to get what I need before she comes and checks on me again at midnight. After midnight, she won't check on me again until six a.m. I wait a good five minutes until I know all is clear. I walk down to Grace's room. Cody is supposed to be up watching her but he is fast asleep in the chair across the room. I take a look around the room for the last time before I turn away. On my way out, I grab a few of Grace's painkillers.
Next, I walk to Emma's room. The girl that used to love me. It pains me that I can't shake her until she remembers me. I find that the doctors have given her an array of pills. I choose a different type of painkiller and blood thinners. I do not need anymore. I had just taken my antidepressants two hours ago so I am still under its effects. The lethal combination of drugs I am about to take will whisk me away to a painless and quick death.
I walk back to my room and wait until the second check has passed before I go into my bathroom to pour my self a glass of water.
I divvy up the pills and take them in groups.
First come the painkillers.
Then the blood thinners.
Now more painkillers.
I am done.
The effect is almost immediate.
I am dizzy.
I try walking to my bed to die there, but my legs give out and buckle underneath me.
I am lying on the floor now.
My vision is cloudy.
It's too late to go back now.
This is it.
Finally.