Harsh Memories

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24/02/21: Was listening to: Mausoleum by Rafferty when I wrote this. Kinda cool song, but probably why the chapter is a little heartbreaking.

Welcome back x If you are an OG reader, thank you for still believing in me. If you're a new reader: Hello. 

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - K.Gibran. 

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March 2017

"Go Hoseok! Go now!" Jin yelled, grasping the poor, terrified rapper by his shirt and forcefully hauling him out of the car. He did not let go until the panicking young adult was inside of the building, "Run you fool!" Stumbling from the shove of encouragement, Hobi did not even need be told twice.

He ran. Sprinted faster than he'd ever exerted himself before. His heart beat frantically, his lungs threatening to burst as his legs worked on autopilot, barreling through corridor after winding corridor to reach the stylists' breakout room. Thundering through the doors into the company of three startled make-up artists, he barely even registered anyone else but the dark haired young woman clutching the handle of her large suitcase who stood inches from the door, moments away from stepping over the threshold for the final time. 

Her hands flew to her chest in shock and the suitcase crashed to the floor loudly, signalling the entire room into stunned silence. Neither stylist nor Idol could speak. Both were seemingly trapped in a mind numbing trance, drawing up thick layers of guilt across each of their throats and restricting the passage of any single word either of them had wished to say through their trembling lips. Hoseok was frozen, his arms pinned tightly to his side with each moment longer he spent staring into the wide chesnut eyes of Lee Sae-mi, the young woman he'd never experienced stronger feelings for. 

"M-m-mi-" He could not even push his affectionate nickname for her out of his restricted throat. But then one simply line shook him from his disorientated state.

"Hobi I'm going to miss my flight." It was not said particularly harshly, nor without emotion. In fact, it was said in a shaking, wavering whisper that the rapper barely heard in the surroundings of his chaotic mental thoughts, "I-don't-I-" A stray tear rolled down her cheek, followed by a small sniffle and another treacherous tear. Hoseok longed more than anything to lurch forward, wrap an arm around her slight waist and wipe those very tears from her flushed cheeks. But he knew any contact like that would make their parting ever more painful for him. 

Reluctantly, he forced himself to step away from the door, his mind frantically raging with each movement she took. The reach for her suitcase, the step out of the room, the first timid stride down the corridor away from him. His mind couldn't bare it at all, "Wait!" For a moment, he had not realised it was he who had emitted this desperate cry through the corridor. The rappper's heart jolted as the young woman stopped and turned, unable to meet his eyes in thought of this being the very last communication she would have with him, "Sae-mi...Mi Mi I-I lo-"

"-Hobi please don't say it, please I beg you. Please..." 

"But I do-"

"-Please. I-I..." she sighed deeply, wiping another tear from her eyes, "If you say that...I won't be able to handle it I...I have to go." Before Jung Hoseok could say anything more, Sae-mi forced herself to turn on her heel and, with a painful lump rising within her throat, pushed her feet along the corridor away from the silent, horrified rapper. 

He stood there for a while. Simply staring with a slight frown upon his face as if his brain could not quite communicate with his eyes to process that he had indeed seen the young woman turn away from him, for the very last time. The other stylists in the room were not quite sure what to do, nor, did his members know either. He just seemed to spend the rest of the day in this sullen, trance-like state in which occasionally, he'd stop whatever he happened to be doing to frown, staring out at nothing in particular as if still reasoning with himself why Sae-mi had left. 

It was only in the evening, staring out across the balcony in silence with a glass in his hand did he finally utter the words that she had forbidden him not to, "But I..." he swallowed, forcing a sob back into his throat, his vision blurring far too quickly for him to do much more than let the tears cascade down his cheeks, "I...I love you." The glass smashed, its contents lapping onto the concrete as knees hit the ground and a sob reverberated around the small, silent area. 

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COMING SOON: DAYDREAM, A YOONSEOK FANFICTION: A BTS FANFICTION SERIES BOOK 4.

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