Where Did You Sleep Last Night? || Kurt Cobain

6. The Pills That Kill

Gripping onto the cold metal of the gate that guarded my childhood home, I found myself experiencing intense flashbacks. Each second that my touch lingered on the first stage of the entrance, the memorys felt so real that they created physical pain in my face. I truly hated it here, only one thing truly motivated me to return. Do it for Erin, do it for Erin.

Eventually I pushed the gate open, involuntarily embarssing the sudden smell of weed that the wind blew towards where I was standing. No matter how many stoners and devoted junkies I hang around, I'll never get used to it.

I stepped forward, not observing many changes from when I last saw this house. Spider webs spread around the dirty windows, the doorknob was damaged and damn near falling off.

Unable to open the front door, I scrambled away from the porch, hoping over the fence and eventually landing in the backyard. I stood up quickly, wiping the dirt off my jeans that had broken my fall.

I took in the sight of the place that was my heaven when I was young; a now run down slide and swing set was placed lazily in the middle of the yard. Leaned up against the fence was our old trampoline with a million holes in it. Mom never bothered to replace it.

"Hedi?" My head turned towards the voice that called my name from the house. "What are you doing here? Do you need money or something?"

"Just let me come in. We gotta discuss something important." I said confidently, reaching for a cigerette out of habit.

"I thought I made it clear I didn't wanna see you again." She grumbled, almost loosing her balance, having to catch onto the door frame for balance. Clearly she was high on something, but it was clear she meant what she said

"For fucks sakes just let me in Helen." I spat, biting at my lip attempting to contain my fiery anger.

"Very well." She let out a nervous sigh, which told me she had something to hide. Scratch that, alot to hide. "Whatever it is make it quick though. I've tried for years with you Hedi. It's always the same with your troubled ass.

"All you are is a fucking hypocrite. Look at you. LOOK AT YOU! All you do is drag random men into this house, blame dad's death for all your fucking problems.. shoot up on god knows what, wake up in the morning and do it all again. And worst of all.. you drank while you were pregant with my sister. But yeah, right. I'm the bad one."

"Now what in the world is going on here?" My mother looked away nervously as a man walked into the room where we were engaging in a screaming match, which wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

"This is my daughter." She replied lowly, when she looked embasrssed I couldn't help but cross my arms over my chest. "Hedi.."

"You want my advice babygirl?" He asked with a eerie smile, causing me to flinch when he stepped closer to me. "Maybe be a little nicer to your mother."

"Stay outta this douchebag it doesn't concern you." I said visosuly through gritted teeth, pushing him away from me when he dared to take one step closer. "Who the fuck is this mom?"

"I suppose we should get on a first name basis if you're actully gonna be around. My name's not douchebag it's James. When I'm around no woman has an attuide like that and gets away without a good number of bruises on her face. We clear Hedi?"

"You're a disgusting man." I muttered. "Just let me talk to my fucking mother you prick! It's important!"

"Five minutes bitch." He spat and pushed me to the wall before storming off to another room. Once he was gone, I turned back to my mom in disgust of what I had just experienced.

"What the fuck is that about mom? You really don't change, do you? Every time someone tries to help you, YOU THROW THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE! You did it to me you did it to--"

"Well you were off getting arrested, going to jail n shit! You did that to yourself Hedi!" She replied with venom in her voice that was raised with every hurtful word she threw at me.

"IT'S NOT JUST ME YOU DO IT TO." I stood up and shouted, not even caring that James could come in again any minute. "I wasn't talking about me this time. I was talking about Erin."

My mother shook her head in disbelief, but I pressed on confronting her. "You've done her wrong since before she was born. You owe her everything. She's innocent in every crime you accuse her. Say what you want about me. Do what you want to me. But stop hurting her. And if you don't get that James asshole outta here, I'll get the cops and child protective services on your ass."

"Excuse me?" As predicted, James was listening to the whole conversation, and now was infront of me trying to get a reaction to his dramatic self. It's sad really.

"Get the fuck out. Stay away from my mother, stay away from me, and most defiantly stay away from Erin. Or I swear to the god that doesn't exist I'll see that it comes back to bite you in the ass.. or worse.. the dick."

"You won't do a single thing girl." He taunted, glaring into my eyes with his demonic and growing pupils. "I'd suggest you'd see yourself out now."

"It's only one phone call James." I warned as I got up in his face, throwing up my pointer finger just a small distance away from his nose. "Give up man, you'll loose against me and all my oh so scary friends."

"You know what Helen?" The look in his eyes shifted into an even angrier expression as he turned his intentions toward my mother. "This isn't worth it. You can take your stupid bitch daughters. Find someone who can deal with them."

He left after that, and for a second there was silence. I did my best to pretend that never happend, but my cursed memory forced me to reply all those events in such short time.

"You might as well send Erin back now." She said sadly, seeming to grieve over loosing connection with that abusive pig. "Since you drove James away."

"I'm still calling child protstive services. My loyalty is with Erin." I told her honestly, putting my hands on my hips. "I didn't come here to convince you to take her back in. At first I did, but after what I just saw I think she's better off without you. She'll be staying with Stacey and I until further notice."