The Autumn Prince

29. A Hundred Minus One

Rachel pushed Katherine's wheelchair through the warehouse's side door and onto the concrete work yard while Becca and Thomas accompanied the fairies around the island, learning his responsibilities as its steward.

"Some shit." Rachel murmured.

"It's not exactly the future I imagined." Katherine agreed reluctantly. It wasn't just the compulsion to support the man she'd chosen. Whatever magic sent a thrill up her spine every time he looked at her also covered the scars of her shame, and she wouldn't give that up easily. She shifted in her seat and winced at the knifing pain beneath the bandages.

"You okay?" Rachel's hollow voice made her wish she could hide the physical pain as easily.

"Better by the hour," she said. "I'm more concerned about you, to be honest."

"Give that shit up, I said I'm fine."

"You don't lie as well as you think you do."

"If you don't like it, stop asking."

"I forgive you."

"So you said."

Katherine knew when to back off. Rachel's required space more than kindness while she dismantled her emotions to reach the rational mind beneath them.

It was strange that Thomas' influence hadn't muted those feelings the way it stripped away her own need to feel pain. She thought acting them out would give her the catharsis she craved but it didn't make any difference. She'd even forced herself to imagine him with the new girl, their bodies entwined, grinding together in passionate embraces while she watched. It made her heart race, just not with anger, and that was worse. As far as she could see there was only one way to avoid becoming some damned cuckqueen, and after Thomas had to kiss Rachel to save her life, it was no longer a choice.

That didn't mean it would be easy.

Katherine peered across the river, trying to discern some sign of the city beyond its high wooded banks. "It's weird that you can't hear any traffic."

"I guess." Rachel agreed in her soulless monotone. "Can't really hear anything except the water and wind."

"And voices," Katherine's eyes sought out the quartet. They had stopped, watching a sleek, black shape break the surface of the river. "Are you and Thomas going to be okay?"

"I should be asking you." Rachel's answer was a gruff, a self-inflicted wound.

"You're my best friend, Rachel. If sharing him is what it takes to keep you around it's a small price."

"What about her?"

"Becca?"

"You don't even know her. You're okay with her tonguing your man?"

Katherine sighed. "Stop trying to piss me off, I'm not mad at you and I don't hate her. Don't pretend you're any different."

Rachel closed her eyes and angled her face toward the sun. "Yeah, I guess. Just after he— but he's not my boyfriend."

"I'm not sure what we are now."

"Cut the bullshit, Kath, if there's such a thing as soulmates the pair of you are walking advertisements. I couldn't get in your way if I tried."

Katherine laid a hand on her friend's arm. "I didn't mean it that way. I'm not giving up on him, but I'm not stupid either. I need to adjust my expectations. So do you."

"Maybe later, we've got company."

Katherine turned to see Becca jogging across the field toward them. She was taller, more awkward, but in many ways a reflection of the girl she had bullied in high school. If she could reconcile herself with Becca she might find a way to finally forgive herself. That would be one hell of a silver lining.