Innocent One 🔞 [The One Series - Part 2]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 -5 {Selfishness}

Date - 24 February 2021

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★ Selfishness :

Is being concerned excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

Selfishness is the opposite of altruism or selflessness and has also been contrasted with self-centeredness.

Being selfish means things always have to be your way and you have to control every aspect of everything that happens in your life, especially your partner's life or your close ones, too.

If you do this, you don't consider their goals or thoughts and only want what you think is best.

Hazel POV

I woke up to the pungent smell of hospital disinfection, invading my nose. The room was silent apart from my heavy breathing and the beep-beep sound hears in hospitals that indicates you're alive.

I slowly opened my eyes, squinting in an attempt to sharpen the blurred images before me. I glanced around and took in the deserted, white color schemed hospital bedroom.

'How long have I been here?'

I shut my eyes, trying to remember what had exactly happened. Then it all hits me with a blow. The memory of it all starts to occupy my emotions.

My tears started to fall and I cry louder enough so that people outside of the door can hear.

While I crying I saw the door open wide quickly like someone was in a panic.

When I saw who was it, my all emotion came to my mouth.

"So you left me because I was not your child. After all, you love your blood more than the child you raise for 25 years old, huh? Did your heart pain even a little when you left me? Or was it my fault that I was not your blood that you left me or dad. Was our love nothing for you?"

I cry out like crazy, my emotions which I kept for years have finally come out, why would I let it out why to shout I am the one to only suffering.

Gabriella was frozen while listening to my words. After I stop she was crying, her tears were falling.

'I don't want to see her cry, it hurts to see a mother cry but what about my tears.'

"Do you think I didn't love you? I always want you to live with me I can't at that point in my life" she was a crying mess, her voice was Quavering.

"You don't know him, I might come back to my life after getting an abortion but what about the man, who lost his wife and daughter at the same time. Poor thing, till now never knows that you, his biological daughter are alive. At least he might not try to kill himself in that hospital bathroom."

I froze, my tears started to fall again but this time my heartache was more than before.

"your so-called father was so selfish that he didn't even think about your father. He knew that you were his child but still, he takes you away. You were his last hope."

I don't know what to say my heart was aching so much I felt it might burst anytime.

Silence.

It was completely silent for the next ten minutes, I don't know what to say.

All I could wait for her to say something.

Suddenly we both blankly stare at each other.

She smiled sadly.

"You look a lot like your birth mother, except you have the same features as your father."

I frowned.

'How did she know?'

"Do you know him?" My heartbeat was fast than normal.

A thought popped into my mind.

'Will I be able to meet him again?'

I hope because I want to meet him, want to know about him, my birth mother. Everything that I always desire for a perfect family, but again I can't.

She shook her head, saying NO.

I sigh, she continued.

"I meet him once in a near cafe, he didn't recognize me but I did, how can anyone forget the pain on his face. We talked to each other. He shows me your mother's photo, she was beautiful, extremely beautiful. He said that he is going to leave the city but I don't know if he did or not. I felt sorry for him, but of course, I can't do anything"

I close my eyes, feeling the pain in the chest. I felt everything has been destroyed. I don't know where I can belong, to whom I belong I feel so empty, inside out.

A few minutes ago, I thought my real father was hospitalized but now he is somewhere, maybe or maybe not. I thought my real mother was selfish but now I don't know her properly even though she is not my real mother. AND my real mother died while giving birth to me.

In an hour my life has become upside down, making it a mess. That a child never wants to experience.

"You know," Gabriella said while gaining my attention.

"Your so-called father is so selfish, even knowing the situation of your biological father, he still takes you away from him. Why? Because the first time he saw you, you open your eyes and looked at him then close them. He became so obsessed with you. You were like his favorite toy. Even now."

She sighs, then continues.

"Hazel, listen to me I am, with my husband are going to England forever and I want you to come with us." She suddenly said seriously.

I looked at her in disbelief.

"Are you, out of your mind? I will not leave him!! He is on the hospital bed, having tests every hour, he is in pain, I can't see him like that."

She rubs her forehead before yelling at her.

"It's not worth it, Hazel nothing is going to change."

" I don't want any change I just want him back like he was before, health," I yelled back at her.

"Please, Hazel, try to understand -" she calmly tried to talk to me but I stop her.

"Understand? what? That he took me away from my biological father, I don't give a fuck about it, and I don't, so stop whatever you are saying because I am going to cross my limits to save him." I aggressively said that because I know I don't mean it at all. Right now for me, he was more important to me than anyone else.

"Hazel-"

"No, please" I interrupted her.

She stares at me while her tears were spilling out of her eyes, then turns away.

"You will understand," she said while her head was turned away. She looked at me again with a soft yet sad smile.

"Do you need money for your dad's treatment? I can give you some money."

"Thanks but I don't need it."

She sighs and walks up to me and slowly grabs my head and pulls it gently towards her face and kiss on my forehead packed with 100℅ love and affection.

After a long time, I got it.

She was still holding my cheeks gently.

"No matter what, daughter or not, you are my favorite my precious Hazel. Always. I might be selfish and bad but for you, I can't never in my wildest dreams hate you, Hazel. You are ways too important to me." She was crying while saying and after completing she left.

Leaving me with heartache.

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Words - 1236

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