12. I Think I really did fuck it up

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"We've got good news and bad news."  I said to Zeph while on the phone. 


"Alright what's the good ne- Nial go help your uncle with the groceries please....thank you. Anyways what's the good news?" Zeph was an auntie and often times watched her nieces and nephews with her brother.  "Well, i'm not pregnant. The doc said it's just a stomach virus so, Yay but also boo." 


She laughed "Alright then what's the bad news and I'll see if I can bring you some soup if not i'll asked Rave."              

"Thanks.....Diz hasn't been talking to me. Even at work she's really distant. I think I might've fucked up." I groaned. 

Zeph sighed "Well...Are you regretting your decision?"


"I-..I don't really know.." I mumbled. "I mean- She seems like she'd be a great girlfriend but..I'd rather just stay friends. The line was silent for a while, "Maypel don't lie to me. What's the real reason? If it's because you don't want to date a girl that's perfectly fine. Everyone has a preference but if that's the case...just say that."

I bit my lip and sighed "I'm scared Zeph. What if she's hiding something big? What if she's insane? What if she leaves me after my surgery? What if she doesn't even really like me? What i-"

"ENOUGH with the what if's. You either take the chance or you don't take the chance. If goes wrong? Boohoo cry about it and then get the fuck back up. If it goes right smile and laugh and be fucking happy. Worry about that shit later babe. I've known you for years I know you're strong. Now hurry and get well soon, I unfortunately have to go."


"......Later Zeph tell your ugly ass brother I said Hi." I chuckled. 

"Alright boo, ttyl." she hung up. 


I laid back and sighed...."What if she doesn't even wanna talk to me?....I think I really did fuck it up."

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