✔️Soundtrack to My Youth (18+)

Insensitive

The cold Winter winds were biting at my cheeks on the walk from the car to the courthouse, the trees that line the path way now completely bare. The temperature had plummeted over night and was now in single digits, with the weatherman predicting a chilly frost to set in for the upcoming weekend. I pulled my overcoat tighter around myself to create a shield against the wind and slipped my hands into my knitted gloves. Sam wrapped his bare hand around mine as we climbed the steps that led up to the courthouse, we hadn't spoken much about Lucas' testimony against Carson that had surprised everyone, including Mum and Carson's lawyer, I had hoped that Sam would now see the change in Lucas and the effort he was making to become a better person but so far, any mention of Lucas' name by either Bridget, Dad or myself was still met with pure distain by Sam but I wasn't going to give up trying to help them patch up their friendship.

Melissa met us out the front of the courthouse, dressed in a navy blue pantsuit with her hair pinned back in a French roll, she looked confident and ready for whatever the day was going to throw our way, unlike Bridget who had been so anxious of how the jury would vote that it had kept her awake all night and now she had heavy bags under her eyes.

"Morning" Melissa greeted Dad, Bridget, Sam and I as she held open the door to the courthouse and ushered us into the warmth of the security screening area. I placed my handbag into a plastic tray and stepped through the security scanner, like the ones they have at airports, making me wish I was going on holiday somewhere exotic and warm, anywhere but the court room which could end in disaster if the jury decide that Carson isn't guilty. "I want to have a quick talk with Bridget and Ed" Melissa says to us when we enter the courtroom, Sam and I take the same seats as yesterday, Melissa, Bridget and Dad leave us to talk in private in the room off to the right. Across from us Mum and Beverly are already seated, throwing cold stares our way, I try to ignore them but when Beverly gets up and walks over to us I know that theres no escape.

"Can I help you?" I ask, looking Beverly up and down, she's dressed in a long sleeve dress that looks like it probably came out of a clearance bin at Kmart and her pantyhose have runs in them, she's so tacky it hurts.

"You should feel ashamed of yourselves, the hell you've put your mother through and not once have you called her to ask if she's alright" Beverly's shrill tone cuts through me like a knife, the woman wants to talk to me about shame right now? My blood is boiling, she's a real piece of work. I look past her to see Susan dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, if I was an outsider who didn't know any better than I'd pity Susan but having lived through her twisted mind games and gaslight behaviour for years, I feel nothing but anger towards her.

"Carson physically assaulted both Bridget and I, but sure, it's Susan that has been put through hell." I spit back at Beverly and watch her recoil slightly but she bounces back quickly.

"You need to just get over that Veronica, you and your sister are holding onto the past, what's done is done now, bringing it up all the time won't change that, just let it go, so you can have your Mum in your lives again." The absolute nerve of this woman never ceases to surprise me, 'let it go', sure, so Carson can get off Scott free and then go out there and beat the shit out of some other defenceless woman. Then what Beverly? Will you attempt to bully her into 'letting it go' too? 

"Veronica and Bridget have every damn right to seek justice for what that piece of shit did to them and you should consider him lucky that they're letting the law decide his fate because if I had my way, he would have been carried out of that house in a bodybag for laying a finger on any woman" Sam snaps, standing up to come eye to eye with Beverly but still she doesn't back down, the woman loves to fight, even if she is fighting for a sadistic arsehole.

The door to the right swings open, Dad comes walking out with his arm around a tearful Bridget, he takes one look at Beverly standing over me and he knows exactly what she's trying to do.