For as Sick as it May Seem

6 - I Will Break You Carefully

"I fucked up. I fucked up and I fucked up bad." Chris says.

"And this isn't like, me singing the wrong words on stage level of fucked up. Oh no, this is like me converting to an actual religion level of fucked up - only worse. I have completed one of the worst acts of fuckery and I can't undo it."

"What the Hell did you do?" Balz asks.

"I...you know...told Cory I wanted to fuck her."

Ricky facepalms, "Dude!"

"I know." Chris says.

"Are you kidding? You're that stupid?" Vinny asks.

"I know, okay, I know. What part of the words 'I fucked up' are you people not getting?" Chris asks.

"Was she pissed?" Ryan asks.

"If she was, she didn't show it. She seemed more like...unsettled. Almost...afraid."

"So what'd she do?" Ghost asks.

"She told me everything was fine when clearly it wasn't, then got up and left." Chris says.

"Have you talked to her since?" Vinny asks.

"I've tried, but she won't answer any of my messages."

"Why not see her in person?" Balz asks.

"Well, if I meet her at Starbucks, there's the chance that she'll be pissed at me and throw her scorching hot coffee at me." Chris says, "If I go to her apartment, she'll have access to her kitchen where all of her knives are."

"Why not go see her at Hot Topic?" Ricky asks.

"Mandy." Chris states.

"So you're just gonna be a puss?" Ryan asks.

"Oh no I'm gonna go see her. I'm just warning you guys, you may have to start searching for a new frontman."

"Where are you gonna talk to her?" Ghost asks.

"At the risk of having to sign a few autographs, Hot Topic. There's a limited amount of weapons and there'll be witnesses."

"Ah, you'll be fine. I'm sure there'll be plenty of MIW groupies that'll voulenteer to be a human shield for ya." Vinny says.

x

"I don't know, Mands. I mean at first it was just flirty fun, you know? But as things became more...forward, I guess would be the word...I don't know, I just, I panicked."

"So what'd you do?" Mandy asks.

"I got up and left."

"Seriously?" Mandy asks.

Cory nods, "I mean Chris and I aren't even dating...I don't think...some of his comments just seemed a bit inappropriate for the setting, you know? And God, the look on his face when I told him I'm a virgin..." She sighs, "I don't know. I've just sort of always pictured my first time as being the lame fairy-tale/cheesy-teen-romance-movie type thing where it's this...amazing, beautiful thing in the arms of someone I'm in love with. Do you think I'm overreacting?"

"I don't think so. But I guess the big question - out of the hundreds of other questions I have - is: are you in love with Chris?"

Cory pauses.

"I don't know." She admits, "I guess I could be...The thing is, Mandy, I've never been in love before; so I guess I'm just not sure what love feels like, you know? And with Chris...If he decides he wants to fix this, he's definitely going to have to make this whole thing up before I can say I love him. I mean I do kind of like him, but...you know?"