√ 𝐸𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡 // 𝐻𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝐻𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑗𝑖𝑛

twenty nine.

     The look in his eyes made it completely impossible for Nari to say anything other than yes.

     Haunted shadows flitted around in his gaze, his demons no doubt having tortured him for as long as he could remember. So delicate seemed his demeanor that Nari was hesitant even to go to him, afraid that the slightest creak of the floor would cause him to shatter.

     But she did go to him, carefully taking the spot next to him on the bed, their hips brushing as the soft material sank down more.

     They stayed like that, barely touching for a while. Eventually Nari stopped counting the minutes, just stayed there for as long as he needed. To her credit, merely sitting there helped him to anchor his thoughts.

     When he was ready, he spoke out into the deafening quiet.

     "The first person I ever killed was our age."

     The aching she had so desperately shoved aside began to creep back into her eyes again, her throat.

     "He... he was the son of an important dealer to our- to Sicarius. Anything they wanted he would supply: weapons, drugs... people."

     Although his voice didn't betray him, his face did. The ever growing tears began to fall, streaking down his face in uneven rivulets.

     "The dealer had been trying to cut off his services. Said he wanted to quit the life he had chosen. For his family."

     Her chin quivered violently, her mask starting to crack in spite of her efforts.

     "My- my master," Hyunjin gritted out, "wouldn't let him go. But the man tried to run anyways. He should have known better. He should have - "

     Hyunjin broke the sentence off, the memory almost too hard to recount.

     "I was told to make an example of his son," he gasped as his chest contracted, the pent up emotion straining to break free. "I broke into their house one night. Found his room, went straight up to him and shot him in the stomach."

     Finally he broke, his tight throat releasing the sobs. Hyunjin grasped his chest, trying in vain to ease the phantom pain radiating through his bones.

     "It- it was so slow," he cried almost incoherently. "He wasn't even asleep, he stared at me the whole time. I can still h-hear him! He won't get out!"

     Fingers reaching up to his ears, Hyunjin clamped his hands down onto his head, wails filling the room. Nari's own helpless whimpers joined his own, their sorrow creating a horrible symphony of agony.

     "I can hear all of them," gasped the boy as his lungs spasmed. "They won't leave me alone."

     All she could do was watch as he battled all of the torment he had locked away inside of him. Year's and year's worth of trauma that he'd never faced full on.

     "And I didn't want to."

     The anguished words seemed to sober him, and he jerked his head to look at Nari, grabbing her shoulders as though trying to convince her.

     "I didn't want to do it, I swear," he stuttered, tearstained face full only of pleading. "I didn't want to, I didn't want to."

     "Hyunjin," Nari croaked out, the grief she felt for him more than she could bear.

      Unable to keep herself from staying still any longer, she climbed fully onto the bed and fiercely wrapped her arms around the boy, their bodies convulsing together as they wept bitterly.