i'm back:)
i knocked on the door anxiously because jaden called in the morning saying he needed to talk and he sounded so serious. it scared me and i don't know what's happening.
anthony opened the door and immediately pulled me into a hug. "he's in his room" he smiled. i gave him a small smile before walking up to jaden's room.
i knocked on the door, hearing a faint "come in" i walked in and jaden's face dropped when i walked which just got me even more worried.
"you said you wanted to talk?" i questioned walking over to the bed where he was sitting. he cleared his throat and nodded before patting the spot on the bed next to him.
"uh yeah" he said nervously. i sat next to him keeping my distance. we sat there for what seemed like hours but in reality was just a few minutes. i broke the silence.
"what did you need to talk about?" i asked him nervously and worried. he looked at his feet. he wasn't even looking at me.
"i'm sorry" he said softly. huh? "i'm sorry for what i'm about to do" i could already feel the tears coming to my eyes. "i think we need to break up" his voice not giving away what he was feeling. "why?" i whispered. a tear dropped from my eye. he still hadn't looked at me.
"it's not you i-" i cut him knowing he was going to give me some crap excuse. "save the bullshit jaden and tell me the actual reason. you promised me. you pr-promised me that you wouldn't hurt me. that's what your doing. why the fuck would you promise something if you were going to be an asshole who can't keep a promise. you sh-shouldn't have asked me out. you shouldn't have helped when i was drunk. you shouldn't have told me you lov-loved me which probably was a lie. you knew it takes a lot for me to trust. yet you do this. how the fuck do you think it's okay?" i spoke hurt, my voice cracking. he still looked down not saying anything.
he took a deep breathe before looking up to meet my eyes which held pain and hurt and there were tears streaming down my face. "why would you say i didn't love you? hell i loved you more than i love myself. i just don't think i'm ready to the with you. i'm sorry beth. i really am. you were the best girlfriend but i can't be with you, not right now at least" he said trying to justify himself. i scoffed.
"so what? huh? you want me to wait for you? you can't break up with me and expect to wait for you. because if you really fucking cared about me you wouldn't be doing this shit in the first place. so stop right there. as of right whatever we had is over and i hate you. i hate you jaden hossler" my voice raising a little and now i was full on sobbing. i was pointing my finger at his chest as i spoke. he looked at me and shocked at hurt and he had tears welling in his eyes but i could care less right now.
"you don't mean that beth. you don't hate me. i love you i really do. i just don't think i can do commitment right now. i'm sorry. please. you can't hate me for this." i tear dropped down his face as he spoke. i shook my head. "you know what your right. it's a good thing we broke up. i can't deal with this anymore. you can't manipulate into waiting for you because you know i loved you. we could've taken a break if you wanted to work on yourself and i wouldn't have an issue because i care about you. because i loved you but no you ended what we have so once i walk out i never want to talk or see you again" my voice stern yet there was so much pain in my voice.
a few more tears escaped his eyes as i stood up and looked at him one last time before walking towards the door. i looked at him once before i walked out. "goodbye jaden". with that i walked out and headed straight to the door. i was about to walk out when josh called out to me. "hey hey what happened?" his said worried probably from seeing me practically run out and my face which had non stopped tears running down. "we broke up" i said those three words and walked to my car and drove to my apartment.
