I'm Not Broken - TH

•13•

It's so weird.. seeing everyone I've gone to school with these past four years. Except I can't talk to anyone, I can't walk with them and I can't graduate with them. It's sad, but that sadness quickly vanishes as I watch Tom and Haz walk the stage in their adorable cap and gowns. I may not be up there with them, but that in no way lessens the joy I feel to see their successes.
A blonde woman sits up a few seats in front of me, and my eyes widen when I see who it is. Why is she here?.. how is she here?
the ceremony ends and everyone cheers and claps but I can't even focus on anything other than her. My mum.
The confused look on her face is prominent as she looks around the crowd. She's probably wondering why I didn't graduate, surely she's heard that I went missing?
Tom comes down, hugging his mum and dad who are sitting closer to the front while the twins and I sit in the back. I keep my head down, hoping and praying that my mum doesn't see me.
She starts to look through the crowd, and I stand from my seat, quickly slipping out and heading away from the field.
I stop by a tree, trying to slow my breathing. I rip off the sunglasses and throw them to the ground in a panic. Something about seeing her here is setting me off. Why would she even care to come back? I know she said she would, but when you get abandoned by your mother you don't expect to actually see her again. She should have just stayed fucking gone. I don't want her, and I definitely don't need her.
I see Tom jogging over to me, concern in his features. I didn't want to pull him away from his family..
"Chloe what's wrong? What happened?" He asks quickly, grabbing my face in his hands to make me look at him.
"My mum.. she's here." I manage to get out.
He instantly looks over to the crowd, and spots her. She looks over to us and stares for a moment. No.. no.
"Tom she sees me." I cry.
"Come on let's get in the car." He says, pulling me away.
"Chloe!" My mum calls as she gets closer to us.
Tom opens the door for me, and turns towards my mum.
"She doesn't want to talk to you." Tom states.
I stop my movements to get in the car, and stand up straight, turning towards my mum. I've never stood up for myself, I've never told my parents how wrong they were, and maybe it's time that I change that.
"You abandoned me. You left me with him. To deal with his anger and abuse all alone." I say. "You don't get to talk to me because you ruined our relationship the day you left."
I can see my words hurt her, and most of all, I don't care. She never cared when I was hurt.
"Chloe I did it for us. I'm here to take you with me." She tries.
"I don't want to go with you." I shake my head.
"What?"
"I spent years getting hurt by dad, and you sat back and watched. I took matters into my own hands. I left and I found people to help. I don't need you anymore." I say, feeling tears well in my eyes.
"Sweetheart I'm sorry for everything, but please.. come with me. I love you." She pleads.
The words bring me no comfort, only hurt. Because if she truly loved me she would have gotten me out sooner. She would have stopped all of this the first time he hit me.
"If you really love me, if you really care about my happiness, you'll leave me alone, and you'll tell no one that you saw me. I'm considered missing right now, and I want it to stay that way." I state, and get in the car, shutting the door behind me.
Tom makes his way around, getting in the drivers seat. I look out the window, and my mum just looks at me, obviously in pain from the things I've said. She simply nods, letting me know she will keep my secret. I feel relief wash over me, and Tom pulls out onto the road.
"I'm sorry I ruined your graduation.." I mumble, picking at my nails like I always do when I'm anxious.
"You didn't ruin anything darling." He assures me. "Believe me, I'm not the kind of person to care about graduation."
My mind shoots back to the obviously illegal pistol sitting in his glovebox.
"Yeah I guess there's a lot more to you than I thought." I say.
________
I drink my cup of tea as Tom walks into the kitchen all dressed up in his suit and slicked back hair.
"You look fancy." I say.
"Well, it's my first day as the real boss with absolute control." He smiles, grabbing a couple things from the fridge. "I'll be in my office over there for a few hours. Will you be okay?"
"I'll be fine, just going to walk around outside I think." I say and he nods.
"See you later pretty girl." He waves, and walks through the forbidden door, locking it from the other side.
I tap my fingers to the marble counter tops, looking around the room. First the fake license plates and burner phone, then the secretive mansion and money, the forbidden door, the gun... something is going on. Something is being kept from me.
I get out of my seat, looking through the home even more thoroughly than I did the first time. The first room I head to? His office. I've only been in there twice, and both times he's hidden either a file or his computer screen from me. If I'm going to find anything, it will be in there.
I open the door, stepping inside. I instantly sit at the desk and open the laptop, another article on schizophrenia popping up. What is with him that he's looking into all of this?
I then spot a file peeking out of his drawer. This looks like the file he's been hiding from me every time I walk into a room. Pulling out the file and opening it, I see my dads name, his photo, and tons of documents. My eyes widen, seeing the first page is his basic information, his national insurance number, and all kind of details about him.
"What is this?" I mutter to myself, flipping to the next page.
Oh my god...
"Known medical conditions... schizophrenia." I read out loud. My dad? Schizophrenic? That can't be.. he was functioning. Well, somewhat.
My mind passes by the information I now have, and goes back to wondering how the hell Tom has information on my dad that I didn't even know till now.
God I'm so sick of people lying and hurting me. I thought of all people, Tom would be the last person to join that club, but it looks like I was wrong. Something big is going on, I'm so scared.. but I will figure this out. I'm going to find the truth and he won't get to lie straight to my face anymore.