I'm Not Broken - TH

•25•

"We shouldn't be doing this.." I say, pulling away from Haz.
"Just because you rejected Tom?" He asks and my eyes widen. How the hell does he know about that?
"So you're telling me you know that Tom wants a relationship with me and you kissed me anyways?!" I exclaim.
"You kissed me back!" He defends his actions.
Oh my god.. we're both terrible people. Both of us are in the wrong, how could we do this to Tom? He doesn't deserve this shit.. even if I am drunk and my judgement is cloudy, I know better than this.
"Maybe you should go.." I mutter.
"Chloe you're allowed to kiss other guys. Just because Tom likes you doesn't mean you belong to him." He says.
I can't believe he's actually saying this.. he's Toms best friend yet he's sitting here trying to make out with the girl he likes.
"We're both drunk, you're obviously not thinking straight. We need to just walk away for the night." I state.
"Yeah maybe you're right." He says, getting up and leaving down the hallway. I take a deep cleansing breath, trying to process what just happened. I need to sober up..
I grab the shot glasses, taking them into the kitchen and putting them in the sink. Then I open the fridge to get a water bottle, praying that in a few hours ill either be asleep or sober.
"You know what? No." Haz says, walking back into the kitchen.
"No?" I question.
"I'm not going to sit back and listen to you tell me Tom has some weird ass claim over you because that's bullshit." He starts. "I liked you first, I liked you the first day I met you and I haven't even gotten to be around you because Tom is always in the god damn way! Now if you tell me you are in love with him, then I'll respect that, but I want you to know that it's not just him.. I'm here too."
He leaves me practically speechless, struggling to take in everything he just said. I didn't realize his feelings for me were that strong.. I thought it was just a little crush, or maybe he wanted to have sex.. I didn't know it was like this.
"Just.. keep that in mind. Okay?" He says, and leaves the room once again.
Well, this situation just got a whole lot more complicated. Now no matter what I do, I'm going to be hurting someone. I don't want to hurt them...
______
I wake up, instantly feeling groggy and gross. Tequila and I don't mix well together. I reach over for my phone, and check my texts.
Tom: good morning Darlin, how'd your slumber party go? Hope Haz wasn't too much of a grouch xx
I feel the familiar guilt creep it's way back. I can't believe I kissed both of them in 24 hours, but I'm going to fix it. I just need to be honest and open.
I walk out to the kitchen in my pajamas, making a cup of tea. Jeanette makes her way in with a rag and some cleaner.
"Good morning Jeanette." I smile as she wipes down the counters.
"Good morning Chloe, would you like me to make you some breakfast?" She asks.
"No I'm good- actually Haz is here so-"
"So make enough for five grown men?" She jokes and I laugh.
"Yeah." I nod.
She pulls out a few ingredients, starting to make breakfast and I sit at the island to drink my tea.
"So how long have you worked for Tom?" I ask. "If I can ask that.."
"Of course you can. I started working here five years ago, when his father was living here, but Tom has been much kinder."
I have never met Toms dad, but from the very few things I've heard about him, I can only assume he's a terrible person.
"Has Tom had many people over?" I question and she lets out a small laugh, cooking up the food in the pan.
"You mean girls?" She asks.
"No! Well.. yeah." I give in, dealing with the embarrassment.
"No, I've never seen another girl here besides you. I knew who you were before you even came here, he talked about you to me all the time." She smiles.
It warms my heart that Tom has talked about me.. he's such a big part of my life, and it's nice to know I'm a big part of his too.
"It's not my place to be saying this but, Tom is a good man." She states.
"Yeah.. yeah he really is." I agree.
I make my way out of the kitchen before Haz comes in for his breakfast, I'm not quite ready to talk about last night. I turn on the shower, and as I wait for the water to heat up I text Tom.
Chloe: still alive?
That will make him laugh. I put on my favorite playlist and jump in the shower, letting the hot water soothe my hangover. I've been so caught up in the boy drama the last 24 hours that I completely forgot about my crazy stalker that they're trying to catch. It's cool, having normal person problems. Being stressed out over boys is a much more natural issue to have at 18 than you know- hiding in the mafia.
I shut off the water, and wrap a towel around my body. My brows scrunch together, seeing Tom hasn't texted me back.
Alright don't get nervous Chloe, he's probably busy. He's not dead. You're over thinking it.
I go to my bedroom, changing into some clothes and attempting to calm my worries. There's a knock on my door, and I walk over to open it.
Haz stands there, a look I can't quite read on his face. I open the door wider to let him in, but he stays in his place.
"I'm sorry for kissing you while you were drunk last night." He apologizes.
"It's fine." I say.
"But I still stand by what I said.. I want you, Chloe. Have for a long time now.."
I know what I need to do. I know how I feel. It just needs to come out.
"Haz, you are great. You make me laugh and I love spending time with you.." I trail off.
"There's a but." He mutters, and I nod.
"But I'm in love with Tom." I say out loud for the first time ever.
It felt good to say that.. to get it out. I think a part of me has felt this way about Tom all this time, and I just never realized it.
"Okay..I will respect that then." He nods.
"Believe me Haz.. I'm one lucky girl to have a guy like you crushing on me." I say.
"Yeah you are, can't believe you're passing all this up." He teases, gesturing down to his body jokingly.
"It will be difficult, but I can stay strong." I laugh.
I can't even express how happy I am that everything between Haz and I is okay. And I can't believe I've actually come to the conclusion that Tom is the one for me.