𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 | 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

My Funny Valentine

author's note: happy valentine's day to els. singing telegrams and chocolate to anyone who uses their precious time reading my words.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

February 14, 1993

Valentine's day that year was, to say the least, messianic. Professor Lockhart, Hogwarts' resident heartthrob, had decked the great hall in bright pastel pink, with great lace hearts hanging from the ceiling.

He had further hired at least sixty fat cherubs to sing to students who received valentines. This was a very amusing affair, but eventually quite annoying, as the halls were filled with sappy love songs for half the day.

Maura was in a foul mood (Valentine's day was her and Cedric's anniversary), and Elodie found her in the fifth floor loo being comforted by Iris and Alicia.

"I thought he would ask me to come back, or something." Her friend was sniffling. "I thought we were soulmates. It was so stupid."

"There are lots of fish in the sea." Iris reasoned. "Plenty of people at Hogwarts you just need to give a chance."

"It's that stupid bat Cho Chang. He fancies her now. I know it." Maura cried. "Probably why he broke up with me in the first place."

"Now, don't come after Cho, she's very nice." Iris chided.

"Why don't you give Lee a chance?" Alicia suggested. "He's been in love with you for... well.. forever."

Both Iris and Maura made a face.

"I hate Valentine's day. I'm sorry, Maurs." Elodie sighed, tapping her feet on the white tile. "You don't need a man, anyhow."

Fred and George had taken a great delight in the holiday, and now had their own set of cupid wings on, singing to anyone who would listen. Elodie had ran into them on her way to Care of Magical Creatures, and Fred had switched from What is Love to Look Back in Anger.

"Don't be bitter, Els. I think what Lockhart did was precious." Alicia swooned.

Elodie groaned. "Oh no, not you too."

"Why do you hate Valentine's day?" Iris asked curiously.

"Because Fred's not speaking to her and she wants to shag him, but she won't admit it." Alicia said matter-of-factly. Elodie slapped her arm. "Ow!"

"Not true." She rolled her eyes.

"You fancy Fred?" Iris's eyes widened.

"No, no, no! Not at all, love. Have at him." Elodie chuckled. She was a terrible liar.

"I don't like Fred." Iris gasped. "Did you all think that I did?"

Maura and Alicia scratched the back of their heads awkwardly. "No... not at all."

Iris collapsed into laughter. "Oh Merlin."

"Well, he sure fancies you." Elodie said bitterly.

"Definitely not. I knew I was being used to make someone feel jealous, I just didn't know it was you." Iris giggled excitedly.

"It's not me. He hates me." She shrugged hopelessly. "Besides, you're perfect! Who could not like you?"

"Elodie. I'm not perfect." Iris said sternly. "And Fred's not exactly my type."

Alicia snickered. "What? Don't have a thing for gingers?"

"Enough with the ginger jokes!" Maura pouted, running a hand through her own auburn hair self-consciously.

"Don't have a thing for men, more like." Iris admitted. Elodie felt a great wave of relief wash over her.