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eyes narrowed and filled with hatred was what shamir would see everyday when he saw his daughter. his beautiful young daughter, who had recently turned five, was standing by the corner of their shabby home, snarling and trembling in anger.
"baby--"
"don't you call me that, old man." alicia bared her teeth like a wild animal, loathing how small and useless she had become. five years ago she had died--a piece of shit who wanted a name for himself had taken her down like a bitch, ambushing her and drugging her until he shot her to death. "understand?" she locked eyes with the old man, gritting her teeth when he got upset.
glancing down at her hands, alicia narrowed her eyes, pupil practically sharpening like an eranged feline. though her skin color had remained the same, she absolutely fucking hated how soft and short her hands had become; she had hands filled with scars, skin broken and gone due to the amount of fights she'd been through. her fingers weren't supposed to be this soft, like someone who's never done anything in their life--they were supposed to be rough, scarred and big enough to wrap around someone's neck to kill. 'why the fuck did this happen--' she continued glancing at her body, mortified at the lack of muscles. she reverted back to that child who would beg for food on the streets, the child that she ultimately hated so much.
the worst part? the memories she decided to keep as ink on her body were gone. the stories she could never say out loud and instead decorated her body with them were gone. they were reminders of the people she lost, people she gained and trophies she gained over the years.
everything she had was gone.
for what? to live another shitty FUCKING LIFE?!
her fist rammed through the wall of their broken and dirty home, uncaring of how her body twitched from the pain. her magenta eyes glowed with fury, and unknown to both their eyes, dark rukh had began to fly out of her. why should she live this life? why had she been given this life? if she was to live, why couldn't she continued living as alic--as herself?! her fist met the wall again and she hissed in pain, hearing something crack.
"please, i know you're angry." she stiffened up when the old man hugged her, his chin on her head as he held her close. "i know you're hurting but baby, please don't hurt yourself." her shoulder had become wet and alicia sneered in disgust, looking down at him when he held her at arms length. "your body is frail, you can't keep hurting yourss--"
"don't you think i know that?!" alicia snapped back at him, snapping her wrist back into place--she ignored how her lungs constricted at the pain, how her knees wanted to buckle and how lightheaded she had become. "that's the damn problem, shamir bhaad! i'm a frail piece of shit who can't even punch through wood! i'm weak! t-this isn't how it's supposed to be!"
shamir caught his daughter, patting down her curls as he cried to himself. why couldn't he be better? if they hadn't been in such a predicament, would his daughter be happy? would she love herself? would she be happy enough where khadijah wouldn't try to break herself everyday?
"I'm sorry baby," he cupped her cheeks, kissing her forehead as he laid her down on their bed. "i'm so sorry."
--
she woke up to the sounds of a whip, alicia immediately jumping out the window only to see the old man pathetically kneel in front of some fat bastard basked in gold and silver. "you fucking bastard," she stepped in front of the old bastard, grabbing the whip before pulling the fatass close. "who the fuck told you," she wrapped the whip around his neck, tugging on it harshly as she screamed in anger. "you could harm someone who's mine!?"
alicia montgomery was blown away by some magic force and she never suffered such humiliation before.
"a rat should know their place," her eyes never showed any fear, watching as they brought a branding tool closer to her arm. they had her kneeled on the floor, two men grasping her arms as they kept her down. however, thought they held her body down, alicia had never lowered her head, refusing to bow to anyone. "don't you think?"
the smell was putrid and she held in her scream, biting through her lip as she continued staring down the lord. bloodlust left the young girl and everyone hesitantly took a step back, laughing when her eyes began to water.
her fury only continued to grow from that point on.
"khadijah, my baby.." she allowed him to hold her, alicia holding her arm carefully as she heavily breathed through her gritted teeth. "are you okay?"
shamir, whenever he would glimpse at his beautiful young daughter would see the amount self-hatred, loathing and hate she would have. however, for the first time in five years, a new emotion twinkled in her magenta eyes that made him frown sadly.
khadijah had turned her emotions of hatred into anger.
and everyday for the next thirteen years, his beautiful daughter had trained herself. she would hurt whoever bothered them, killed whoever she didn't like and eventually, khadijah bhaad had been the cause of his death.
but a father could never hate his daughter.
he protected her till the end, just like she would protect him whenever she thought he didn't see.
"i love you," he mumbled against her temple, smiling softly. "khadijah."
--
khadijah glanced at the corpse of her father before she softly picked him up. "if you don't want to die, leave." she watched the old woman scamper out of her home, khadijah laying her father to rest away from the village, away from the place that turned on him and towards the direction of the sun that shined just as brilliantly as he did.
she burned the village down and walked away without looking back. there wasn't any need for her to remain at a place filled with ghosts.
"thank you, shamir bhaad."
-
from being five years old to the aftermath of killing the royal and losing the only person she came to care for.
normally, i never wanted to even talk about khadijah's past unless she brought it up in the storyline, but then realized it would be create good 'special or filler's chapters. regardless, i plan on doing more special chapters every now and then with memories of her and shamir when she was younger or sometimes even on how she lived as alicia and those memories.
it's up you guys completely, let me know--my update schedule is shit so this would be whenever i can't deliver on time.
