Frerard Oneshots

✧ A List Of All The Things I Should've Said... ✧

what's up? i've had this idea for a while, and wanted to write something sad and angsty again while messing around w pov, sooooo,, here u go :") the writing isn't my best at all, but then again, this was just to mess around. 

possible tw: brief mentions of self-harm/suicide, and death.

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All The Things I Should've Said...

"I think you're cute."

Your nose crinkles through a fit of giggles escaping your lips, your eyes slit due to crinkling around your smile, your tiny teeth taking the center stage. We lay sprawled across my rug, gazing at the stars projected onto the ceiling bubbled with popcorn-like texture. The side of your head is close to mine, and your chest heaves as you calm yourself from your laughter.

Your hand sits right beside mine on the fluffed strands of the carpet. I long so badly to just reach out and take it within my own, but I don't. I just smile, sighing softly as you sigh back. You turn to me, the few overgrown strands of your hair falling into your face as you watch me. You tell me that I'm your best friend. I smile.

I stare. Perhaps for a little too long. I can see the freckles dusted along your cheeks through the dim haze of the room. Your eyes bright in the dark, and your lips curled into a silly smile. I think you look cute. That's not really a normal thought for a thirteen-year-old boy to be having towards his best friend. His best friend who's also a boy.

You ask why I'm staring. I don't know what to say. All I manage is to admit that you're my best friend, too. That makes your smile grow. You hug me tightly, and I wonder if maybe, you thought that I was cute too...

"I think you're a little more than just a friend to me."

Your feet scuff the ground beneath the swing-set as you slow yourself, rocking softly as you glance at me. We both smile. We run towards the rock-wall dome to the side of the park equipment. We both clamber up, giggling as we duck and roll onto the platform of the top. The breeze blows and chills us as we huddle together against the wall for warmth. We're side-by-side, pressed closed together to preserve body heat as our thin jackets don't do much to protest us from the brisk air nipping at our noses.

Your cheeks are red, and your nose is running from the cold. You're shivering, curling closer into me as you mumble of how cold it is. I agree, nodding and watching as my breath condensates in front of me. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. Alive with nerves as I can feel you beside me. I know that this goes farther than just a friendship. Something is urging me towards you, luring me into your spell.

Still thirteen, and still facing the big, threatening wall of a sexuality crisis ahead of me. Blocking the road as my feelings for you only deepen, and I begin to come to the realization that you're so much more than just a friend to me. I think I've got a crush on my best friend, and that's not good. You like you talk about girls sometimes. That's not good either. It never goes farther than just a simple mention of finding somebody cute, but even that ignites some sort of edging pain in my chest. Having a crush on your best friend isn't good, and I know that I'm in big trouble...

"I think I'm falling in love with you..."

You push your hair out of your face, your gloves stained with the teal dye as the freshly colored roots beg for attention in the reflection of the mirror of your mother's vanity. You grin crookedly at yourself. You look at me through the mirror, asking if I like it from where I'm stood in the corner. I compliment it. You smile. You ask if I'm being honest. I agree. Your smile grows.