Book 4 - Shot of Life

Chapter Fifteen

JJ was in the barn when everyone was there. He had gotten there earlier to get some work done but when everyone showed up he hid up in the hayloft. He heard everything and it only tore his cracked heart even more. She wasn't manipulative or a liar. She was protecting herself. He feels like a fool, dumbass, an actual asswipe.

When they left to head to the west barn he continued to stay where he was, contemplating how to get her back, and if he had a chance. It was late afternoon when Jack found him.

"Thought I'd find you here," Jack comes walking in.

"I'm sorry," JJ shakes his head trying to rein in his disappointment.

"What exactly are you sorry for?"

"Making a mess of everything. Mostly hurting her,"

"I get why you looked into her but why didn't you tell me? I delivered that grenade. I'm now partially to blame even though I didn't know anything about it,"

"This was all on me," JJ refuses to let Jack think he had anything involved. "If she leaves with her brother we are doomed. I am doomed,"

"Yes to both those statements,"

JJ is letting these newly formed emotions get the best of him. "How do I get her back?"

"I don't know. She is a strong independent woman who doesn't need anyone. She wants someone. Let that sink in," Jack gives him an excellent point to think about. "When did you guys start this thing you have? I just remember you both hated each other,"

"When you asked me to take her to see the horses. She let me in. She was so nice and she cared. She has this power over me and I can't control myself when she is there. I am a marine, you always control you. But when she steps in the room that training is gone and she just digs under my skin," JJ runs his hands through his hair. "She has no idea what she does to me. Before that stupid company party and the day of the party, I followed her like a lost puppy. The night of the party, just before I ruined everything, I had hands down the best night of my entire life. I laughed and felt free of any demons. I just..." his voice trails off.

"You thought it was a lie?" Jack understands why JJ went off the deep end.

"Yeah, fooled again by someone. But I fooled myself and the joke is on me," JJ hangs his head. "Alia promised to be there through thick and thin. The moment she got the call and saw how bad off I was, she was gone. Rox... I mean Everett is different. There has never been pity in her eyes towards me. She treated me as if I wasn't any different. Jack, I'm going to do everything I can to get her back,"

"What if she says no or just wants to be friends?"

"Then I'll take friends over nothing at all," JJ lies.

Jack proudly looks at his brother, "Come on, let me let you in on a secret we've been working on..."

They finish some chores as Jack tells JJ of his secret. JJ's excitement for his brother is evident. This man has always had a plan for the ranch and to keep it going in the family. They walk home together reminiscing about growing up at the ranch. They say their goodnights and JJ walks in his.

He sits waiting to hear Everett and her brothers return from the west barn. He watches her walk to her cottage alone and waits a bit before he sneaks over to say he's sorry. When she opened the door any speech he planned just went out the door and all he could muster was "I'm sorry". Leaving her porch was a bigger task than he anticipated. Hearing her shut the door and lock it behind her, he feels that she has locked up her heart and taken his with her.