World Cup [larry stylinson a.u.]

45.0

THE HOMOS

“Okay,” Liam puts a hand on my shoulder but I’m too busy kissing my tiny tourist’s lips, “That’d be it.”

“Yeah,” Zayn joins us, “This is cute and also very shocking but you can stop now.”

“Why? Are you jealous?” I put a pause on the kiss to smirk at them.

“I’m proud of you, buddy… but those guys over there are giving you a funny look,” he sounds scared, “And I’m not in the mood to fight against Brazilian homophobes.”

“Okay,” I turn to the tourist, “You small and everything but you are also kind of heavy,” I put him on the floor.

“I bet it’s because the booty,” Zayn mumbles.

“Hey!” Liam glares at him.

“Sorry,” he shrugs.

“So,” the male version of Nicki Minaj looks at me, “You told them?”

“I did,” I smile proudly, “Oh, right, let me do this properly.”

“Good,” he seems happy.

“Liam, Zayn,” I take a deep breathe of courage, “This is the tourist, my friend who’s a boy.” Damn, I thought this’d be easier.

“Your friend who’s a boy?” My friend who’s a boy laughs, “Or your boyfriend?”

“That,” I cough.

“Do it properly, mate,” Liam says.

“Okay, here we go again,” I sigh, “This is the tourist, my boy who is also a friend.” Damn it!

“Nope,” he shakes his head at me.

“It’s not that hard, H, come on,” Zayn laughs.

“Says the guy who never told me who he’s dating,” I snap at him. Incest.

“Come on,” my boy who is also a friend insists, “Or I’ll leave and, this time, for good.”

“Will you?” I freak out.

“I wish I could leave you,” he pushes me, “But there’s something about you that makes it impossible for me to do so.”

“It’s probably my hair,” I nod.

“Or the dimples,” Liam adds, “Look at the dimples.”

“I’d go for the tattoos,” Zayn comments. This is why I love them, even if they are gay.

“No wonder why you are so cocky, bubu,” he laughs, “It’s because of them.”

“Bubu?!” the gay incesters ask in unison.

“Shut up!” I turn serious.

“Ops, sorry,” the midget pretends to be sorry.

“You are not sorry.”

“He calls you bubu?” Liam uses a tone that he knows will push me over the edge.

“Aw, bubu,” Zayn laughs at me, “Isn’t that Aladdin’s monkey?”

“I think it is,” Liam nods, “You kind of look like a monkey,” he tells me.

“He does eat a lot of bananas,” the other adds.

“Can you two stop? This is annoying.”

“All kind of bananas,” Liam coughs, “If you know what I mean.”