Hurt Me Again.

This Is Where It Ends For Us.

Okay, so firstly, I felt like the hugest idiot to be here. For God's sake, this was Bellamy's engagement party and here I was smiling like a fool and pretending as if I'm okay when I'm not, but my therapist said I should finally come to terms that we were finished so I guess this was me finally coming to terms?

"You look great," he said pulling me in for a hug which I didn't want to take because I was afraid I would fall right back in, and harder this time. However, it felt neutral for me and it was becoming really awkward because the guy was squeezing the life out of me while I awkwardly patted his back.

"Thank you, you don't look bad yourself," I said with a smile and moving backwards to stand next to Eze, once I was close enough to him again, I felt as if I could breathe again and I could stop acting so awkward. "Oh yes, this is Ezekiel, Eze this is my ex-husband Bellamy Barreau."

I introduced them and they shook each other's hands, I pretended to not see the rising ego tension between them as they shook hands, now this was extremely awkward.

"So are you two done?" I asked as I looked at them break away from their stupid staring contest.

"Yes, I would like to introduce you to some-" Bellamys started and I shook my head.

"Oh no, I'm going to sit that off. I want to show Eze my favourite places in this house," I said and Bellamy's smile fluttered a bit before he nodded. "I'm sure Nadine will keep you better company than I."

"Yes, definitely," he said slowly and I smiled. "I'll go find her."

He left us and I looked up to Eze who held a small smile.

"What?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nothing, let's go."

I held his hand as we walked around the house as I showed him my favourite spots in the house. I started out with the balcony that showed a view out into the lake and the trees that surrounded it. I loved it so much that I didn't mind standing in the very spot I always cried at.

We then walked out into the garden that was filled with the most beautiful flowers, all of them were my favourites and I was happy to see them grow and flourish, exactly the path I was on. The garden had Tulip, Iris, Mimosa, Buttercup and I know this isn't the normal ideal 'I want to have these flowers in my garden' Cactus flowers.

The last place I showed him was the kitchen, and I showed him every secret cupboard I had that I used to stash my snacks and alcohol or weed. I showed him my other favourite part of the kitchen which was the ever filled fridge to which we proceeded by stealing the box of chocolate that was staring at us and we hid it in his suit jacket.

"Robyn?"

"Yes, old muffin?" I answered spinning around to look at Matilda.

"They're about to start," she said softly and I smiled letting Eze help me off the high chair I was sitting on, we walked to the room that was organized for their boring party. Eze and I were able to squeeze ourselves to the back where we tried our best to keep our voices low as we talked about the people in the room and how we thought they sounded.

"We just wanted to thank everyone for being able to come to our engagement party, it really means a lot to us," Nadine said and Ezekiel and I snorted trying to hold in our laughs, how in the world did her voice become squeakier?

"And we just wanted to thank all of you for your support and never-ending love us for us," Bellamy said and everybody clapped their hands. "Robyn, could you please come here for a second?" Bellamy said and I froze as everybody made way for me to walk all the way to where he was.

"Uhm, I'm okay right here!" I said in a small voice.

"Alright, that's okay. I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me and for being the best woman in my life," tell me he did not just say that in front of Nadine?

"Cool, well Nadine will be here for you now. Have fun," I said and people laughed, I don't see what's funny in that but okay.

"Please enjoy the rest of the night," Nadine said as they walked away from where they were standing to talk to other people.

"Well...that was weird," Eze said and I slowly nodded my head before I burst out in laughter.

"Really! Let's go eat those expensive cheese foods," I pulled him to the table that was filled with tiny food and sighed, fuck this would make me more hungry than full! I ended up just grabbing a cracker and standing with Eze we continued talking.

"So, what's your favourite song, that if they would play it right now you would go crazy?"

"The mashup song of 'Rock the boat' and 'The Weekend' by Aaliyah and Sza," I answered after chewing.

"Really, why?" he asked and I gave him the 'look' and he slowly nodded his head. "I get it."

"What's yours?" I asked and he came closer leaning into my ear as he whispered the answer, I didn't miss the hold he had on my waist. "You lie!" I said giggling and he nodded as he winked. "I love it too!"

"Her voice is melodic and seductive," he answered.

"So true! She makes me want to drop my-" I stopped talking and winked at Eze.

"I bet I could get you to drop them for me too," he said and I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

"What are you dropping?" Bellamy asked behind me and I turned around still smiling.

"That is none of your business," Eze said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Robyn, can I talk to you for a minute?" Bellamy asked and I sighed.

"Sure," I walked outside with him and waited for him to talk.

"The way you conducted yourself today wasn't you Robyn, you laughed every time Nadine spoke and not so long ago you were talking about dropping each other's undergarments in front of people while inappropriately touching each other."

I looked at him in shock, was he trying to reprimand me or some stuff like that?

"Firstly, don't ever talk to me like I'm a kid, and I am acting as myself not who you want me to be and if you can't deal with it you better find a way to. Secondly, I always laugh when Nadine talks, it's inevitable for me not to shit. Thirdly, you have to stop eavesdropping on peoples conversations because you got it all wrong, and besides it is absolutely none of your business what I do with my life from now on okay!

I will be moving out of your apartment at the end of the year because I am done with this toxic to and fro relationship we have, it's not allowing me to grow because you want me dependant on you for the rest of my life, I get that you thought you were taking care of me but you were limiting me from being me, changing me to suit your preferences, you can do that with Nadine and your child but with me, I am saying no more.

I love you, yes, but I am no longer in love with you and it is time for me to start loving myself so that I could be happy and be there for me. I hope you are listening to me this time Bellamy because I am never going to repeat it, ever again.

You and I, this thing we had is finished. I won't come running to your interviews anymore, or your engagement parties anymore. I am choosing me first now."

I didn't want to go that deep but as I started talking everything just started pouring out, so this is what the therapist meant when she said I have to confront him, I've never felt lighter and happier just from those simple words. I am choosing me first.

"What does that mean?" he asked and I smiled pressing a kiss onto his cheek.

"It means you're about to marry Nadine, and I am officially out of your life."

"Really?" he whispered and I nodded.

"Yes, thank you for everything, but this is where it ends for us, Bellamy. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Robyn."

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