Edward x Envy (A Full Story)

Chapter 22

Envy's POV:

What. I cannot believe I just did that. I can't believe Ed just did that- not that it's his fault.

Ever since I met Ed, I've had this tremendous guilt building up inside me. I'd known how important Hughes was to him, which was why I protected the truth. In retrospect, I should've acted differently. I was just afraid Ed would hate me, which I guess he does now.

Right now I'm outside walking. Not in a particular direction. Just away from him. Away from everything.

Ever since my creation, I've found it hard to process time. Everything happens so quickly, it's hard to remember what you think. What I know, however, is that Ed wants nothing to do with me.

It's been more than an hour. I'm still pondering where to go. Is Ed still at the apartment? Wherever he is, he doesn't want me around.

I consider heading back to central. No, it's way too early to decide that... Ed might come back for me.
I keep telling myself that, but I killed a man he was close to. Fuck me.

My regrets sink deeper into myself. How do I even recover from this? From my past of killing innocent victims. From all the terrible memories I've collected.

For the past 20 minutes, I've been sitting at Ed's favourite tea shop, hoping he'd come by. He obviously didn't. I can't help but feel like he'll never come back.
Maybe I could go back to our apartment. It would make things more difficult, of course. We have to figure this out somehow.

It's starting to get pretty dark, so I check into a hotel for a night. In the morning I need to find somewhere to go.

As I crawl into bed, I think about what Ed's doing. He's probably sleeping, as if I were never even there. 

Once morning rolls around, I immediately get ready to leave. I don't want to stay here more than I should.
I've decided that if Ed doesn't want to see me, I don't want to see him. I'm going to central, back to work. It's not like anyone here's going to miss me. Or even care.

I get down the the train station and hop on the first train to central. Not even with a single regret. I'm so damn done with this guilt. I can't fucking handle the pressure the regret put on me.
Once I'm back in central, I'll never see Ed again.

I audibly wince.
I never even considered that.
I stand up running for the train exit. Just as I reach the door, it closes.
I'm too late.

Now I have to wait another fucking 3 hours until I get to central. Then I have to hop on a train back. Now that I consider it further, going to central doesn't seem that bad.

I could stay for a few days, clear my head, and come back.

I need to work on an apology for Ed. A simple "I'm sorry" won't exactly cut it.
I don't know how I would even begin to speak to him.
The thing is, I am sorry. With my entire being. I just don't know how do get that across to him without seeming like an idiot.

I spend the rest of the train ride planning out my stay. I'll go back to Father for the time being. It'll help drain suspicion.
I might go to Greed for help, not that he'd know how to react. I just miss him honestly.

I want to go back to Ed. I want hug him and explain myself, but that can't happen. It can't. Whether I want to see him or not, I can't.

The back of my mind thinks I might never see him again.