Us Again (Russo Series 1)

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

I literally want to burn all that image permanently just so I won't get to see it again.

I have deleted that on my phone but it keeps flashing on my mind. Funny, only few days of my absence and she already got a new boytoy. I have never felt the wanting of smashing someone else's face until now.

Desedido na akong bumalik ng bansa kanina, wala ng pakialam sa mga maiiwang trabaho. Fuck work! I won't lose Samantha just for it. Nakarating na ako sa paliparan ng bumaliktad ang isip ko.

Naisip ko si Samantha.

Paano kung matakot siya sa akin pag nakita niya kung gaano ako kagalit sa ginawa niya? I would lose her more! That cannot happen.

Pinukpok ko ang manibela sa hindi na mabilang na ulit. I have deal with so much loads before, be it of school or work, but never did I became stress as I am right now.

Through the years, I was thought how to work under pressure. But what I have right now is all new to me.

That's Samantha. She can trigger all the emotions, feelings I didn't knew I have.

My speed increased as I left the airport. I can't go back now. If I will, I might lost her even more. She might really choose that bastard if she will see me this furious.

I do not want my soft Samantha to deal with my lividity.

I have to deal with it on my own first before I go home to her.

With that, I helped myself release some steam on a bar.

There's a celebration for the successful deal. Doon ako dumiretso. Some started to talk to me and I used that as a divertion.

The daughter of Mr. Dowell, Crisana talked to me a bit, too.

Pero kahit na anong subok kong iliko ang isipan ay babalik at babalik pa din talaga kay Samantha.

I want to drink 'till my head hurt so I cannot think of her. But damn! I also do not want the idea of not thinking about her...

In the end, umuwi na lang din agad ako.

I don't think I won't think of her when I get drunk. Sa tingin ko kahit pa langong-lango pa ako sa alak ay maiisip at maiisip ko pa din si Samantha. Ako yata talaga ang may problema...

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at siya pa din ang nakikita ko. Fuck this!

How can I be so damn whipped!

Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko nagawang matulog ng kagabi. Buong oras na gising ako ay pilit kong inintindi ang nakita ko. Kahit sa panaginip ay iyon pa din...

Umuwi ako ng Pilipinas ng hindi na nakayanan. Minadali ko ang lahat ng trabaho ng hindi nakokompromiso. My day goes beyond twenty four hour just so I could get home.

Who am I kidding?

Hindi ko kayang hindi siya patawarin. Kung nangyayari ito sa ibang tao ay baka nagtawa na ako. Pero ang maranasan ko mismo ay hindi biro.

Kahit pa ata sabihin niyang matagal na niya akong niloloko ay mapapatawad ko pa din siya.

I have never lost respect to myself until the moment I realized what unimaginable things I can do for her. She's my poison and antidote at the same time.

"A-anong ginagawa mo dito?" her first question made me stunned a bit. We haven't seen each other for months and lost our communication for days.

"I miss you." Iyon lang ang sinabi ko bago tuluyang lumapit sa kanya.