Love You Goodbye

Chapter 35: Roxanne

I snuggled close in Niall's chest. I felt him running his fingers along my hair as I slept. The sound of his heartbeat was like a lullaby to me. The feeling of being in his arms never felt so good. I kept telling myself that I needed to end things with him. My mind and other people's thoughts were telling me to let him go. At first, I thought my heart was telling me to let him go too, but in reality, it was telling me to never let him go.

I was listening to Harry scowling at me, Gemma urging me to end things, Mercedes always bringing up my safety. Anne told me to make sure that I was making the decision without the influence of others. At first, I thought I was making it on my own, but I was letting others and my own fear make the choices.

Ever since I could remember, I allowed fear to get the best of me. I allowed fear to convince me to run at every chance I could get. It was just like how I allowed my fear to get the best of me when Little Horan died. I allowed the fear of Niall leaving me for someone who could get pregnant get the best of me. I pushed him away and let him stray. I was afraid to be hurt. I didn't care if the chances were unlikely, I still ran from it. I knew that Niall wouldn't have left me for someone else before, but I still chose wrong. I couldn't let it happen again.

My heart had been screaming at me about how much I loved him and how much he loved me, but I chose to ignore it. I shut myself out to avoid any more pain. I was running when I promised that I would never run again and I had every intention of not running anymore.

Through my closed eyes, I felt the rays of the sun upon me. I have to tell him, I thought. I opened my eyes, squinting. I sat up with the blanket wrapped around my torso. I looked at the side where Niall was to see he wasn't there. Frowning, I got up, wrapped the bedsheet around me, and moved to the bathroom, but he wasn't there.

"Niall?" I called out. I looked around and noticed that his luggage wasn't by the wardrobe anymore. My heart tightened as I opened some of the cabinets to see none of his clothes were in there. I went into the bathroom to see his shaving kit and toothbrush weren't there either. "Niall?" I said again, going to the living room.

I bit my lip, seeing that his shoes weren't at the front door. I moved over to the living room and sat down on the couch with conflict in my heart. Suddenly, my eyes diverted to a sticky note and the divorce papers.

Taking a deep breath, I picked it up and read what the sticky note said.

Rox,

I will never forget tonight, our love, and our story. You're right, Rox. Our story needs to come to an end. So, I'm closing the book and I won't reread a chapter. I will move on and take part in another story. Thank you for letting me have this special night with you. I will never forget it. Love you, goodbye.

"No," I whispered. Quickly, I reached for my phone. I called Niall, hoping that he wasn't on the plane yet. The phone didn't even ring. It only gave me a message that the number was inactive. The only number I had of Niall was disconnected. "Shit!" I cried, throwing my phone across the room. I heard it shatter against the wall, but I didn't care.

I dropped down on the floor and cried softly. I was too late. Niall gave me what I wanted or what I thought I wanted. Taking a deep breath, I changed and left the hotel room to go see Anne. I hoped that Harry and Mercedes were somewhere else.

Of course, they were there.

Harry stood up from the chair once I walked into the room. Anne and Mercedes were eating breakfast. "Did he sign it?" Harry asked me.

I nodded, "He did."

Anne stared at me. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I'm just tired," I replied calmly as I sat down on the edge of her bed. "It's been a long night."