A Love-Hate Relationship

36.2~ Shopping

Johnny

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror.

The tux wasn't that bad. It looked good on me. All I had to do was straighten my hair.

But... it just didn't feel right.

The past two years, I went to Winter Formal with Clara. Both times, I wore some simple tuxedos my dad lent to me, and I never cared about how sharp they were. Just as long as they were nice.

This time, though... I really wanted to look good. And a new tux would make me shine.

Marissa was probably going to look gorgeous. This simple tux wouldn't do anything to live up to whatever she was wearing.

If only Dad would let me rent for this dance and hold the Armani tux for prom.

Dad's Armani tux was actually a family heirloom. My grandfather gave it to my dad, having worn it at his senior prom in 1966, and Dad wore it at his senior prom in 2000 and Mom's junior prom in 2003.

That was why I expected him to let me have the tux; I figured, being his son, I'd get the heirloom. I never thought about it until now, and I was pretty surprised when he said no.

I shrugged to myself. This would have to be it.

Maybe he was going to give it to me for my senior prom. I thought about waiting until next year, but I really felt like I had to wear it this year.

This was important. If it were with Clara, I wouldn't care. I'd danced with her since the first annual spring dance in 6th Grade.

But this was Marissa. This was the first time we'd dance together, and I was hoping we'd keep going to dances together. Junior prom, Homecoming next year, the next Winter Formal, and the senior prom... in all of those, I imagined her with me.

I heard my door open, breaking out of my thoughts. I looked to see Dad coming in.

He looked at me in my tuxedo, and I turned to face him fully. I spread my arms out. "How do I look?"

He sighed. "Sit down for a second."

I obeyed, going over to my beanbag chair. He sat on the edge of my bed, his knees apart and his hands clasped together. He stared at the carpeted floor for a few moments before looking back up at me.

"Johnny... you really care about this girl, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"But... what exactly do you feel about her?"

I bit my lip. "It's hard to explain," I said slowly, knowing where this was going. He wanted to make sure I wasn't falling in love early, like him and Mom.

I was willing to stick to my promise to not rush things, but they did tell me I was allowed to date.

"I usually just want to annoy her," I said with a chuckle. "But... she..." I sighed. "I always want to see her. Every time I wake up in the morning, I can't wait to walk to school with her. I can't wait for the classes I have with her. Whenever I see her, she adds a bit of light to my day."

Dad kept his face emotionless, his eyes fixed on my face.

"I don't know if... if that's what love is," I continued. "Maybe it is. And maybe it's real, maybe it's not. But it's what I feel. And I want to at least go out with her, at least try. That way, if we end up just friends, we know we tried it out."

There was a moment of silence.

"Do you imagine any sort of future with her?"

I rubbed my hands on my knees. "I'm not sure. I don't want to look that far ahead. But I do imagine us trying. And maybe, if we try long enough, I might see something. Maybe. It's too soon to tell."

The corner of his lips lifted. "That's all I needed to hear, son." He went back out of my room, entering his office. After a few moments, he returned.

With a new tux.

I stood. "Did.. did you..."

"I was thinking about it," he said. "I know the Armani tux is a family heirloom, and it's my duty to give it to you. I was just hoping you'd choose senior prom instead." He walked over to me. "But seeing how much this means to you... what's the harm in trying out first love?"

I stared at him in shock.

"I know that your mother and I have told you to be careful. But we both knew that you falling for someone in high school would be inevitable. You have that type of character. We just hope you'll be smarter than us. Enjoy your youth. Don't throw it away."

"I will, Dad," I said. "I promised, and I'm not breaking that promise. And I don't want to make Marissa unhappy in the future, if we decide to have a future someday when we're older."

"I just want to make sure you don't think we're generalizing this. We want to protect you, but we know that not every couple that blooms from their teens turns out like us. I know it's okay to take a chance, just with more caution than your mother and I."

"I know. And I know Marissa probably feels the same... or at least her parents do." I laughed. "So I guess... as Mom would say... we'll have to pray for the best, right?"

He nodded and chuckled. "All right. I understand why you want to shine bright next Monday. So... I'll give you this... and the Armani tux is set for your prom."

I smiled, taking the tux and gently laying it on my bed. I couldn't help but give him a tight hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

"I love you, son."