Quarantine

Christmas Wander: Part 1

"You know...this is my last month with you..."

I turn away, fixing the decorations on the tree. "Right..." I mumble quietly.

I knew the day was going to come eventually and that day was only a few weeks away. Originally, Jackson only came to stay for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but with some convincing, he extended his vacation until after New Years.

Great. I would have to start off the new year without him.

"We have award shows, variety shows...there's a lot we need to do when we get back." Jackson said. I didn't know whether he was trying to make himself feel better that he had a reason to leave me or if he was trying to make me feel bad if I tried to keep him here any longer. Either way, neither one was working.

"I get it, Jackson." I grumbled angrily. He took a step back as I shoved past him, keeping my arms around me so he couldn't reach me.

I didn't understand why I was so upset about this. I knew this was going to happen and it was nothing like when we were apart for two years. I was dating a Kpop idol, this was nothing new; I knew what came with that. Maybe it was just hard for me to accept it, especially at a time like this.

My hands cradle my growing belly and I let out a tired sigh when I was out of his view. "I don't want your daddy to leave me again." It was obvious to everyone that I was becoming a lot more clinging and needy, but it took me awhile to realize that myself. I was always independent and did everything on my own, then Jackson just had to go and knock me up, and now I feel like some type of annoying clinging pregnant woman who couldn't even put on her clothes without bursting into tears.

"Are you okay, honey?" The familiar voice rang out in front of me and I looked up with a sad smile. "What's wrong? Stress is bad for the baby."

"I know, Mei...I just...it's hard-"

"It is. It's very hard. Even though I am not Jackson's own mother, I get sad when ever he goes back to Korea, but that is what we signed up for." She looked at me curiously. "Did you tell him how you feel?"

"Well, not exactly...but it's obvious!" I frowned, leaning against the kitchen table. "I'm obviously not excited about him leaving. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Korea with him, then this all wouldn't have happened."

"And then we wouldn't be getting that beautiful child in your belly." Mei sent me a stern look. "Everything happens for a reason, my child. This might have still happened if you were here in California, in China with his family, or even in Antarctica."

I scoffed with a short laugh. "Why would we be making babies in the middle of Antarctica?"

"To keep warm, no?" She smiled evilly.

"Okay, okay, you're right." I hold up my hands in surrender, my face growing hot with embarrassment. "But I still feel like a burden."

Mei grabbed my hand, pulling me down into the chair beside her. "He cares for you, so much. Never does he see you as a burden. I don't. Tony...I'm not so sure."