43 | talkative

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don't cry, or do
whatever makes you feel comfortable
I'm tired, too
there's nothin' left to say

• • •

   Zayn and I were still talking. It was a good thing I wanted to keep doing though.

   At the moment he told me he's leaving the band, I didn't think once about the boys. Karen knew by now too because Zayn called her too. Apparently, he called all of us.

   The world knew too. They released the news after a week he left and the boys were taking a break now. They were back in London, and I was too.

   I wanted to be there for Harry, and of course, the others too. I just knew that Louis was feeling awful. We talked a bit over the phone and hearing his voice was enough to know that.

   Zayn leaving the band changed a few things in the band but everyone was acting like we weren't gonna see him again. It left me confused, but I had hope that wouldn't happen.

   We're friends — he's my bestie.

   I just couldn't understand why they were acting like that.

   Karen was actually at Niall's place. She wanted to give Harry and me some privacy since we were a... couple.

   I was waiting for Harry to get out of his shower. He has been there for the past thirty minutes but I wasn't worrying. I knew that a hot shower would help him relax.

   He has been quiet about the topic, being careful to not mention it, and I knew he was bottling up his feelings. If he kept them in like that, he was going to explode.

   He only talked with me about 'normal' stuff and asked me about my week to distract himself. I answered all of his questions to help him keep his mind occupied. After that, he went quiet, he didn't talk to me and we watched The Notebook again.

   Then, I decided to take a shower and when I was done, I found Harry in his bedroom. He had red and swollen eyes, and I instantly knew he was crying.

   I hated seeing him that way. It was breaking my heart that I didn't know how to help him.

   It was hard to help someone who didn't want your help.

   I was trying to be there for him with all I could but it was starting to get difficult because he didn't talk about his feelings.

   I decided not to push him though. I couldn't force him to talk to me when he didn't want to.

   After seeing him in that state, I tried to hug him but he pushed me away and said he was going to take a shower. Thirty minutes later and he still was in there.

   I sigh and stand up from the bed, tired of waiting. I know I should give him his space, I'm just checking in. Who knows, maybe he slipped in the shower and needs help.

   I go over to the door and open it. When I'm ready to walk out, I take a few steps back, startled to see Harry standing right in the doorway with a towel hanging on his hips as he's holding it on the side.

   "You scared me... Jesus," I say, pressing my palm over my chest.

   "Sorry," he mumbles, looking down at the floor, walking past me to get to his closet.

   I close the door back again, leaning on it as I watch Harry gather his clothes. He takes out his boxers and nothing else. He then lets the towel fall to the ground and I stare at him up and down, admiring the view he's giving me.

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