Disguised as a Nerd

Chapter 52

Vanessa's POV

"I don't know Ethan, I- feel overwhelmed," I stutter out.

"Calm down, you may just be overthinking this whole situation. Based on what I heard, you share similarities with Maya, don't you?" Ethan asks.

"I do but I was way older. Today when I spoke to Maya's father, I remembered my father. I wished that the past was rewritten, that he treated me as his daughter and not a pawn on his game," I confessed.

"See, there you go Vanessa! You don't necessarily regret your choice of adopting Maya or your relationship. Your past trauma is making you confused and scared of-" I cut him off realizing what he was going into.

"...becoming Maya's fear as well. I'm scared of becoming like my parents and her father," I whisper.

"So, go and fix things now. Asher looked worried for you, I must admit he looked a bit hurt as well."

"What do I tell him though, he must be so disappointed in me.""Asher likes you a lot to make this a big deal between the two of you. Just go talk with him and be honest," Ethan advises. I stand up realizing that Ethan was completely right. I was only acting due to fear, I wasn't going to be like our parents, I was going to be better. 

"Asher, can you come with me?" I ask as I step into Maya's room. They were still fixing the small details before we could call it complete. Asher doesn't change expressions, he stays emotionless. He nods before walking towards me. 

"Do you want to talk in your room?" he asks all serious. 

"Yes, please," I whisper feeling hurt at his tone. What did I expect after my silence?

I lead the way, hearing his footsteps behind me. I was scared to turn back, I didn't want to see him all serious. I wanted him to at least crack a small smile. We reached my room and I signal him to sit on my bed. He sighs while taking a seat. He looks at me intensely, waiting for me to speak. 

"I-I'm sorry Asher, I didn't mean to stay silent at the table. I just-" I started my rant that I prepared in a few seconds. 

"Let me guess, you were overthinking again," he finishes my sentence. 

"Yes, you're right. I know I shouldn't but I was scared."

"Scared of what? Vanessa, what were you scared of?! I honestly don't get it, I constantly show you that I will always be there for you, but you still don't trust me?! How do you think it makes me feel?" Asher replies frustrated. 

"I was scared of this! I was scared that we would fight more often. I was scared of becoming like Maya's father. I was terrified of losing you and Maya!" I cry. I felt disappointed in myself, I let him down again. However, Asher lifted me up, even if I disappoint him. He hugs me, letting me cry and let everything out. 

We stayed like that for a while. He continued whispering soothing things to calm me down. 

"I know everything is happening so fast, but you won't lose me. We won't turn into your parents or Maya's father. We will be better than that, only if you put in that effort to be better. I already told you, I will always be there, whenever you need me," Asher whispers into my ear as he hugs me in his lap. 

"As for me moving in, don't listen to them. It's a big step-" Asher continues.

"I think it's a great idea. As long as you agree with it," I cut him off. After giving it some thought, it would be a good idea, especially for Maya. We needed to be as close as we could be with her.