Poetry

Glass Heaven

Chasing happiness while being tired of smiling
Running in circles yet we can't come around
To see how our hearts are killing us
We want to love, but it turns to hate
When we give and the love never reciprocates
They say the highway to hell is paved with good intentions
So I took the express of self destruction hoping it would lead to heaven
I drove my mind insane trying to comprehend my life
My struggles are so miniscule yet control my eyes.
Chasing heaven but stepping on the shattered glass
Happiness never sticks around you'd think I'd learn from my past
I see right through it, all I see are false promises I made to myself
How I would become better and take charge of my mental health
Yet everyday I feel like I'm slogging through a moat
Ally negotiator with the darkness within me
My days are good yet my heart feel so empty
I don't know what I need and I don't need what I want
I think love would fix me but I know love was also my breaking point
So I run away from my feelings and curse these expressions
Self hatred is my gun, my past is my ammunition
I fire every night, yet can't kill these thoughts
I say I'm alright but inside all I feel is rot
Nothing is going to fix this pain
Love shall breed no gain
It will only break me and tally another mark on its game
I know I can't be saved yet I can't help but cry
Too broken to love and love is too broken to try
I can't save myself and no one can save me
I pray to my God, but he knows whats best for me
I wish he'd let me know too for I'm going crazy
I tear my psyche apart just to pull it together
Is this the life he wants me to live forever?
Yet I know he loves me for he gave us the promise of death
I don't know when my time is, nor I do care how much is left
I will suffer and do my best to survive until the bell tolls
Then I can rest and not worry anymore
Life doesn't get better we just numb it's pains
Hell is real. It's a sturdy foundation built to withstand any storms
Yet heaven is made of glass, it will shatter through every stone and thorn.