Poetry

Why are you still here?

How long do we have to be apart
Several years have went by and you're still in my heart
How many thoughts have you crossed in left a trace?
How long do i have to live till I can forget your face?
You have me questioning if I even knew myself
If to be rich is to have love I have great wealth
But why does love sneak into my life with great stealth

Did I ever love you or was it infatuation?
Is this pain fake or is it from real dedication?
When I can remember the smell of wet grass in the air and the sky is gray
I can remember the walks we took with you hand in mines, how i wanted that day to stay
If I knew it was the last time I'd hold your hand I'd never let go
The warmth in my palm the shape of your hand I remember even though it was years ago
But I'm sick of only missing you in my memories
I'm sick of trying to move forward but my heart stays stationary.
I go through every day living the best that I can
I work, i fight, and yet I don't feel like a man

Why did the day I lost you had to be the apocalypse?
Wounds so deep I can't feel real bliss
I wake up every morning but I'm asleep on the inside.
Every smile is fake while the tears within  hide
I want to shed my skin to remove you
But you're in deeper then that you go all the way through
I've struggled to love again and it gets worse
I have to keep my body alive while my soul rots inside this flesh and bone hearse

I'm pathetic and stupid and so much less
That i can't get over one girl and my heart becomes the greatest pest
It's horrible and ironic how this love is ignorant
So strong so pure yet I feel like I'm arrogant
I have hollowed my heart and I still found you there
My heart a circus and the many emotions I feel are the fair
I'm just a pawn in your game and I have been played well
I have lost completely I am under your spell
I fear this pain will only leave me in death
This love will stay in my heart till my last breathe
I have damned myself with this heart and I shall pay the price
I was too foolish I should have thought once, twice, and thrice
To never let my heart go into the arms of another
I loved so much but I wasn't enough for her
Now I'm not enough for me
I hope death isn't the only thing that can break these shackles and set me free