Not Your Average Nerd (BxB)

Chapter 2

I won't be switching Pov's every chapter, but if I feel like a situation calls for it then I will.

———

Sean's Pov

Do I have to go to school today I thought to myself, rolling out my bed and reaching for my phone. 9 a.m on the dot.

I was officially late for my first day at my new school. Well that's not all that bad, things could be worse. I stretched my tired limbs yawning before getting up and going downstairs.

I knew that my parents weren't here but I still had a lingering feeling to go and check anyway. To my expectations the entire house was empty, the only sound was of my breathing alone.

This wasn't surprising to me because I knew that my parents would be home once or twice every year due to there jobs. I had to understand from a young age that this is just there job and they have to do this for us to live comfortably.

Although sometimes I wished they new that living comfortably didn't equal a big expensive mansion.

Over the years i've grown accustomed to the loneliness. It used to bother me a lot because I wanted to know why they would always leave me or why they couldn't take me with them.

Overthinking became a new normal for me and if that wasn't a problem on it's own, why not add a large handful of anxiety.

In the beginning I tried to help myself. See if there was a way I could control my raging thoughts or constant speeding heartbeat. If I could get rid of the feeling of my throat closing up and my hands turning clammy and raw.  Any minor inconvenience would turn into the worst thing ever, no matter how much I tried.

And if that wasn't bad enough there, then let's throw in random severe panic attacks. Once my mind had deemed itself full of overthinking and my heart couldn't speed any faster, everything would turn to shit.

I remember the first time at the ripe age of 14, I thought I was going to die. I believed I was going to die for the simple fact that nobody was here to save me. I was hit so hard by an indescribable feeling, that I didn't know what would happen to me.

I don't know how I coaxed myself into calming down but I eventually did, after sitting in a corner all night. It was about 6 months after that, that my parents returned. So if I died then I guess my body would have already started to decompose.

It wasn't long before the anger had started to boil up in me. I had always been quiet with little words but soon I started to make outbursts and threats. The denial from my parents hurt so bad that I desperately needed to find a way out. Anger just so happened to be the first option.

I lashed out at any and everything, ranging from somebody looking at me the wrong way, to someone dropping something on the ground near me. It was petty and stupid but it was an escape. A way to take my mind off the things that were wrong with me.

My anger has gotten me into more fights than I can count. I'm surprised that I wasn't in a juvenile detention center right about now. But sadly the simplest things would tick me off. I was like a bomb waiting to blow or a trigger waiting to be pressed. This was one of the main ways I gained my reputation.

People stayed away from me out of fear. Fear that if they were to simply breathe around me, they would end up in a bloody pulp.

Part of this was true but to an extent. I never really cared anyways and I didn't try to tell them that I wasn't like that. Why should I? When I actually thought about it, it was better to be alone then to be surrounded by people that don't care but pretend they do.