Ryder Jahsai Williams.
"I'm constantly fightin' demons in my sleep so I stay up." - Yungeen Ace
I shook my head, listening as DJ and Blaze talked about some shit that happened over a week ago. Lighting the freshly pearled DutchMaster, I couldn't help but to think of Karsyn, the one person that's plagued my thoughts for the past week. I knew I was wrong for the way I did her but I was fucked up that night. I'd gotten too in over my head and with the shit that I was dealing with, it was best that I left her alone. Did I want too? Hell nah, I'd grown fond of her. But I had crossed the line that night on top of almost catching a body because of her. So for her protection and my sanity, I had to leave her alone. I was bound to fuck her pretty little life up.
It was clear that I didn't fully think things through before I approached her. I was blinded by a pretty face and an even better personality.
"Lover Boy over there reminiscing and shit!" Nigga, pass the blunt." DJ laughed.
Sticking up my middle finger, I took one more hit before handing it to Blaze.
"Nah, I'll leave that to Karsyn's fine ass."
I waved him off and grabbed the controller off the table.
Blaze finished off what was left in the bottle of Remy before turning to me. "So you told her yet?"
"How the fuck do you even start a conversation? And I'm trying to get this bitch to sign the papers but she won't, then she's talking 'bout how the feds have been watching her house and shit." I grimaced at the thought of my soon to be ex wife.
What I told Karsyn about moving here for better opportunities was true but it wasn't the full story, it was deeper than that. I knew that I could be honest with her but I also knew that she wouldn't have wanted shit to do with me after.
"Yeah, you fucked up." DJ reminded me. "But it's alright, imma make it all better, that's just your best friend right? Cause I like her cute ass and I don't have all the extra baggage like you."
The truth was, I was married, had been since I was 19 and it was the worst mistake of my fucking life. I was locked up at the time and Tia was there for me. Being the typical nigga with nothing else to do behind those four walls, I fed her all type of bullshit about marrying her and getting her pregnant and of course she fell for it. But I never thought we'd actually get married two days after I was released. I can't say that I never loved Tia because I did, I loved her but wasn't in love with her nor did I have any type of feelings for her. I'd been trying to get her to sign divorce papers for years but she used the fact that she knew all of my dirty laundry against me and because she was now pregnant, she said she wasn't signing them until we got a DNA test to confirm that I was the father. If I was, she had it made up in her mind that we'd fix our marriage but she was sadly mistaken. We had a weird dynamic, some would consider it an open relationship but I just wanted her evil ass out of my life.
On top of that, things had gotten sloppy a few months ago, now me, DJ, Blaze and a few others were under federal investigation. I wasn't trying to get my family involved in no bullshit so I dipped. Enrolling in college classes was just something I did to make myself look good in the eyes of the law and to pass time but it had become beneficial. Too bad, I had to dropout. At one point, I didn't have to question Tia's loyalty but once she'd gotten me cased up on some fuckery, there was no doubt in my mind that she'd spill all of my illegal doings to the feds. So I had to tread lightly.
Defeated, I brushed my waves with my hand. I wanted to badly to reach out to Karsyn but I couldn't, at least not yet.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town. Karsyn was racking her brain trying to figure out what she'd done wrong. It had been a week since she spoke to Ryder and she couldn't get him off her mind .
