Karsyn Sekai Miller
"Are you doin' this work to facilitate growth or to become famous? Which is more important? Getting or letting go? You can do anything, anything you can do." - J. Cole
"Street Symphony" by Monica filled the room as I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting my dress. I couldn't help but to think about Dimitri and how much I could relate to the lyrics.
I sat in the bed with my back against the headboard. Checking my phone for the hundredth time, it was going on 3 am, I cursed lowly seeing that there still wasn't a message from Dimitri.
I heard the front door slam indicating that someone had came in. I jumped up, opening the room door, I peeked into the dark hallway. I could hear Dimitri telling someone that they could sleep in the guest room. I shook my head, knowing his mother wasn't going to like that. I went and sat back on the bed, waiting for him to come in.
"Why you still up?" Was the first thing he asked when he came into the room. I guess the expression on my face let him know that I was pissed off. "Here we go." He dragged out, dramatically.
I watched as he pulled off his black hoodie, making sure his all white t-shirt came off with it before he walked into the closet. I hated how good he looked, especially when I was trying to be mad at him.
"Yeah because you said you were done. You lied Dimitri." I exclaimed lowly, not trying to be loud and wake anyone up. "If you can't chose between me and whatever you got going on out there then we don't need to be together. Period!" I stood, folding my arms across my chest.
He waved me off. "Man, Karsyn. Shut up."
"No because clearly you don't love me like you say you do." I shrugged, knowing he'd get mad about me saying that. If there was one thing Dimitri hated, it was me denying the fact that he loved me. But at the moment, I was just talking reckless.
"You wanna argue and I'm not arguing with you." He said, nonchalantly, going into the bathroom and shutting the door, I soon heard the shower running.
I was over it. Like Monica said "If I can't get you out of the streets, charge it to game." I felt like if Dimitri didn't stop, it was only a matter of time before I'd be getting a death notification from the police. I hated to think that way but sadly, it was reality.
I contemplated on leaving and going home but it was too dark and I couldn't see that good at night so I'd wait it out. I got in on my side of the bed and slid all the way to the edge, being petty. I turned off the tv, purposely leaving the room dark for when he came back out. I laid in the dark, listening to the shower until it eventually turned off. As soon Dimitri came out of the bathroom, he tripped over something and he cussed loudly.
I felt the bed dip down. "You real childish. You know that?"
I ignored him. Realizing that me be on the edge of the bed meant nothing to him, I tried pushing his hard chest but had no luck. He was convinced that we needed to be touching in order for him to sleep. Wrapping his arm around me, he kissed the back of my neck.
"I apologize. I'm trying 'Syn, but this is all I know. All I know is the fuckin' streets."
I wanted to give him my usual lecture but I knew that it was pointless so instead I stayed quiet.
