Dearest Kit

Chapter One

Dear Lana, 

I understand completely what you mean about the name Christopher and I couldn’t agree more. Until I am at least fifty years old and am sitting in a country manor with my brogues propped up on a velvet footstool, I think I will stick with Kit. Once someone buys me a burgundy, satin dressing gown, I will know it is time for a change. However, it may interest you to know that for a short period in my teens (I think I was sixteen) I took up smoking a pipe. It was not made of ivory, in fact, if I remember correctly, I found it behind German Street in the West End of London; someone had left it by a large dumpster down an alleyway. I gave it up when I realized it was easier to smoke a cigarette. I gave that up when I realized it eventually burnt holes in your lungs.

It may sound odd, but in a sense, I’m glad you don’t like my more famous movies much, A Crippling Blow. It’s a relief not to have another fan mail from another preteen in love with my character; this fictional version of myself. I have an anxiousness for the next part in the series. I may have filmed it, but there is still no way of knowing if it is going to be more shit than the last. 

I don’t know if I have ever spoken about Lights with someone, despite the fact I loved filming it and, unlike A Crippling Blow, enjoyed watching it too. I also identify with my role and sometimes I will find myself doing things in my everyday life which relate directly back to the film. It is unfortunate that you can’t find the DVD anywhere, in which case I must send you one of my personal copies (there must be a few lying around the place.) Email me back your address and, once I have finished unpacking all of my cardboard boxes, I will post it to you personally. 

Tears for Helena was one of those films where you didn’t realize how it was going to turn out until the premier, when you finally saw the director’s cut. There was an old fashioned quality, I agree, which coincided well with the novel. I read it after I was sent the script and, although it was a little slow at parts, I enjoyed it as a whole; it’s worth a read. 

It’s odd, I am sitting typing this and chuckling to myself because I have never been able to describe the way I feel about Americana as well as you did in your previous email. Every word I agree with; it’s compulsive nature, the surprise, the way the author’s words can hold you for days and days after the last page. It is beautiful in it’s simplicity. I am ecstatic to know that at least one person is eager for the release of the film and I hope it meets your expectations. I think the directors and the producers kept to the essence of the book, and the script was drafted with Don de Lillo, as he has written plays in the past. 

I’m not sure if I’m a good actor, but I try. The fact that I chose to play a high school jock-slash-werewolf, falling in love, all portrayed in a rather ghastly series of films, has perhaps undermined my true ability. In any case, being voted The Sexiest Man Alive isn’t as fulfilling as some may think. I got a trophy, which sits gathering dust in the corner of my study, but apart from that I am trying to put the whole thing behind me. You are right, not many people see past the pretty face. I am pleased that you have. 

I am glad you wrote this letter, and I am glad it reached me safely. I was considering sending you back one of those pre-written, carefully composed replies, worried that your expectations would be shattered if I actually replied (and yes, it is actually me.) Sometimes, if something is playing on our minds for a long time, the only thing we can do is do as it says. I read somewhere that our unconscious mind is more powerful than a super computer, if this is true, we would probably do well to listen to it. 

I’m sorry I’m sad too, but there doesn’t seem to be much that I can do. I was angry for a long time, but now I just feel numb. In all honesty, your email has been the only thing to make me smile for a few days. When I say smile, I mean really smile, not the smiles I give the cameras, not the smiles I give my friends. Thank you for that.